Savannah Smiles

One of those days....

2012-01-27T09:12:00.000-08:00

Approximately 342 days of the year, I have "one of those days".

This type of day means I am sitting at work with a long list (crafts I would like to be doing, books I would like to be reading, and recipes I would like to be cooking) running through my head.

Today is one of those days.

To honor it, here is my list of "If I had my druthers I would be.... "

At home taking down my Christmas tree, but stringing up more beautiful lights in my apartment.
Cleaning out my craft closet (organizing is the better word to use, since I know I wouldn't actually throw any craft items away)
Participating in the National Soup Month by putting potato soup in the crockpot
Cashing in my free coffee coupon at Starbucks
Playing James Morrison quietly in the background
Hanging up the heart garland my friend Kate made for me
Making a "Take What You Need Sign" for all the people I love (I will post on this later, as it really is a sweet idea)
Making Gavin's prayer chain, and Kyle's bracelets that they have so very patiently been waiting for (sorry guys)
Reading Flashbang!
Writing scriptures on pieces of cardboard to hang on my walls
Planning spring time decorations
Browsing through my latest Martha Stewart magazine with a pack of post-its close at hand
Placing my PRE study guide underneath a magazine so that I can ignore it's calls to study
Attempting to find a Peter Pan shadow decal for sale on the internet
Cuddling with Rilla, my sweet kitty
Planning next weeks recipes/menu
Watching the Civil Wars cover of "Billie Jean", maybe... eh, twenty-seven times
Planning a cruise with my friend Lynde
Sewing handkerchiefs onto my living room couch pillows
Copying poems, quotes and scriptures into my "Collections" journal
Journaling

If you check back again with me next week, I'm sure I'll have the same list stuck in my head.
The whole idea of "I want to be at home - taking care of my nest, cooking, and crafting" is not a new idea for me.
Note: While I talk about all the things I want to be doing at home... I am so blessed to have the job(s) that I do. I am getting paid to sit here, blogging and doing homework. I have an internship with people that I absolutely love, get along with really well, and I get to work with teenage boys that are funny, clever and brave.
I have a blessed life.

"two birthdays, a grill, and some non-exclusiveness"

2011-11-28T12:39:00.000-08:00

Oh the days of being in Murray, when a birthday meant lots of food, lots of people and the chance to write a goofy email.
For some reason, as I was searching my gmail account for a friend's address, this email came up.
I wrote it to invite people to a birthday party, and re-reading it made me giggle.

Reason number 7,945 that I miss Murray.... I don't get a chance to write emails like this.

"Dear friends.
For some odd reason I was put in charge of sending out the invite email for the big shindig Danni and Susan are having tomorrow night for Danni and Kaylee's birthday. I guess you could call it a birthday bash. I believe, however, that a "bash" is violent and a "shindig" sounds like it originated from the 70's. So let's go with shindig.
Anyways, let me tell you several things.
1) Grill is provided, and so is the meat.
2) We need sides. Lots of them. And not the kind found under your arm, the kind that comes in a bowl or casserole dish that is edible.
3) Drinks, chips, and some desserts are also acceptable.
4) I am not an elephant, therefore I don't remember everyone's email address. So.. if someone's email is not in here, PLEASE invite them. Mk. Thanks.
5) I need to know if you are coming, and if you are bringing something (please do) and what it is.

Danni's NEW apartment is 1411 Hillwood. You drive past WalMart (it's on your left), take the second road to your right after you pass the hotel on your right -- NorthWood. Turn left on Hillwood. It's the only 2 story duplex on the road, it's on your left and it's 1411.

It starts at 6:30, tomorrow night.
Email me back (although I prefer carrier pigeon. they're cuter.)

All my appreciation,
Lady of the Lake of Shining Waters.

P.S. This is not formal ladies and gents, we prefer that you do not show in formal attire. A.K.A. Tuxedos and evening gowns.

I Turned on the Radio

2011-11-02T20:09:00.000-07:00

I never listen to the Radio. Why? Because christain radio stations tend to play the same 15 songs for 10 years in a row. Like this one below. But today I turned on the radio. And it was a good thing. Because I needed to hear this song. Especially the parts underlined.

"I Need You To Love Me"
Barlow Girl

Why, why are You still here with me
Didn't You see what I've done?
In my shame I want to run and hide myself
But it's here I see the truth
I don't deserve You

But I need You to love me, and I
I won't keep my heart from You this time
And I'll stop this pretending that I can
Somehow deserve what I already have
I need You to love me

I, I have wasted so much time
Pushing You away from me
I just never saw how You could cherish me
'Cause You're a God who has all things
And still You want me

Your love makes me forget what I have been
Your love makes me see who I really am
Your love makes me forget what I have been

God's grace is a gift that I'll never stop gawking at.

I Think I Hate Halloween....

2011-10-31T08:22:00.000-07:00

Last night, I was laying in bed after browsing over Facebook's newsfeed. It was filled with Snow Whites, goblins, cowboys and naughty chefs. And so I started thinking about how much I dislike Halloween.

I hate the darkness of Halloween... that it's a holiday where dimmed lights, cobwebs, skeletons and motion-detecting horror scream machines are on everyone's Wal-Mart list.

I hate the arguments about whether Halloween is pure evil, set apart to sacrifice children that satanists raise just for this day or whether it's just a day to dress up in the latest Disney princess outfit. (The child sacrifice reference was the title and blurb of an article someone posted on Facebook.)

I hate that American's spend an average of $50's on candy the week of Halloween.

I hate violent costumes. Why is it acceptable to society to dress as a dead bride, with a knife sticking out of your head and blood on your face? If I were to walk around as a rape victim, would you laugh and point and rush to have your picture taken with me?

I hate that the morning news topic on TV is inappropriate outfits for 5 year olds.... that are sold in retailers around the country.

I hate that cleavage is a part of most Halloween costumes, and it doesn't matter how old or young you are... if you've got boobs, show 'em. Mother of __*insert number*__ kids? That's ok, your kids aren't at the wild drunken party to see your immodesty.

I highly dislike Halloween. And I just realized it yesterday.

The Effects of Cold Medicine...

2011-09-28T06:42:00.000-07:00

Normally I am pleased when someone goes out of their way to help me.
Normally I think to myself "Wow. How kind was that? Jesus, please bless them today." or "I'm so glad they knew how to help me... because I sure didn't."

But not today.

Here's the story.

I pull up to the parking garage and wait for the gate to lift. It doesn't.
"Oh!", I think to myself, "it's one of the days where they randomly require you to wave your permit in front of a sensor in order to lift the gate."
I open my car door (since my car was not close enough to the sensor) and step out.
I'm immediately jerked back in my seat because I left my seat belt on.
"Please, God. Please don't let anyone have seen that."
Turning around, of course there is a car behind me -- and the girl obviously saw me.
Realizing that my cold medicine is probably the reason for my slightly non-responsive brain, I focus on getting my WKU I.D. out of my wallet and swipe it across the sensor.
Nothing.
I then spend the next 2 minutes trying to get the sensor to read my ID.

I swipe up.
I swipe down.
I swipe across.
I press it against the sensor.
I tap it against the sensor.
I turn my card around, I turn my card upside down....
Nothing.

Finally, the girl in the car behind me (since there is now a long line of cars watching my sniffly, tired, pale and confused self unsuccessfully wave my ID around like a fool) gets out and runs up to my car window and says "use this" and swipes her PARKING PERMIT.
(Clearly the sign said permit... and I'm trying to swipe my ID like I just returned a book from the library.)

Of course, when the gate lifts and I pull into a parking spot, the girl parks next to me.
I choose to hide in my car while talking on the phone to my mother rather than explain to permit-girl why my brain seems a little foggy today.

Considering my opening statement, I grudgingly say that I am still glad she helped me out.
But only because if she hadn't I would have had to get out of my car and wave all the other cars into the other lane, until there was enough room for me to back out and leave in shame.

So here's a half-hearted thank you to permit-girl.

This will have to suffice

2011-09-13T18:00:00.000-07:00

I will continue writing blogs. Funny blogs, newsy blogs, inspiring blogs... those kinds of blogs.
As for now.... I'm going back to the always trust-worthy list.

So here is my list for today.

1. I started my internship this week at Group Effort, a boy's group home. I will write about my initial reaction later.

2. I now know that I am 100% sure that I want to be a foster parent.

3. I went to bed at 8:15 last night.... but I was ready to go to bed at 5:15.

4. I'm overwhelmed with homework. The kind of overwhelmed where you have to grab a towel to wipe off the snot and tears that just pooled on the face of your cell phone, that kind of overwhelmed. I have so much reading.... and one of the books that I have to write a paper on is way beyond me. It's intellectual vocabularly is about 10 notches above mine. I despise this book.

5. I'm going to Murray in two weeks... and I'm relieved. I need to see Jennifer, Amanda, Andrew, Mr. Mark Randall, Kathleen.... all of those good people who lift me up and cheer me on in life.

6. My apartment is a mess. "Why?" you ask. Well. I get up. Get ready. Travel 30 minutes to work. Work from 8 - 4:30. Travel 30 minutes home. Take a 45 minute dinner break. Study. Fall into bed (typically as a weepy snotty mess). Get back up. Do you see a time scheduled for cleaning in there? No. Neither did I.

7. I have a planner again. The relief I feel is unimaginable. I can plan and schedule my day. I can write to-do lists, grocery lists, homework lists and movies-to-buy lists... and they will all stay in one book, in one place. I feel rich. And organized. (Thank you, my dear auntie!)

8. I am going to write a short blog about how much I miss people smelling good. (Not that anyone smells bad... it's just that no one wears perfume/cologne around here... and that is a tragedy. Everyone should smell good.)

9. I have a new friend named Danny. He went to culinary school but he refuses to bake for anyone. Supposedly it is my turn to bring a snack to work. He states that he is a "fat man that likes to keep his fat, so no bringin' dang carrot sticks. Shew. bring sumpin' GOOD."

10. I am blessed and highly favored.

Goodnight, people.

The Things You Learn in Grad School....

2011-09-01T07:32:00.000-07:00

So here is what I could write about in my blog today:

All the different kinds of yummy things I could make using pumpkin as an ingredient

A list of my house plants, their names, and which one I really don't care for but feel pressured to keep

My confusion to why so many people think that my aversion to cotton balls is so "abnormal"

Our first official Chi Alpha meeting of the semester, and the awesome things that Amy taught. Topic: Born to Demonstrate

My annoyance with my glasses and the poor eyesight I have when I wear them; which causes me to tilt my head back and squint at the computer, which I am currently doing. I need to make an appointment. Pronto.

My delight over my GA position, and the "assignment" that I have been given - which basically means I get to do homework all semester.

A list of reasons explaining why I think ear wax is completely unnecessary

Although these blog topics are all VERY interesting, I feel compelled to write an excerpt from the textbook that I am currently reading.
The book is the Practice of Social Work, written by Charles H. Zastrow (who does a very fine job since I actually enjoy this textbook. Surprise, surprise!).
The chapter is titled "Counseling from the Client's Perspective" and the topic is "Conceptualize the Problem".
Since this is the type of textbook that tries to engage the bored and caffeine-filled graduate student, there are occasionally exercises provided where a scenario is given (based on the current topic) and you have a space to write out what you would do in that situation.
It's like an uninteresting creative workbook.
I just came across Exercise 5.6: Exploring a Socially Unacceptable Topic with Tact... and it just became interesting.
I'm so glad I read this, as I *ahem* tend to skip over the exercises.... I think of it as a waste of pen ink and that I'm doing my part in saving the environment.

Here is what Exercise 5.6 says.

"You are a social worker at a social service agency."
(Wow! Aren't they genius!? How did they know that I was reading this and that it wasn't an Art History major or something like that? OK. Sorry. Moving on.)

"You are a social worker at a social service agency. You have a client who rather frequently expels intestinal gas. You and the other staff at the agency find such behavior to be obnoxious. The person has been unemployed for the past three months, and in the past 14 years (the client is age 34), he has frequently been fired from janitorial jobs. You wonder if his frequent expulsion of intestinal gas may be a factor in causing his spotty work history. Write the words you would use in having him look at whether his obnoxious habit is a reason for his being discharged from jobs and a reason he has difficulty in now being hired."

....

....

Needless to say, this is one exercise I plan on filling out.

I will be a GREAT social worker.

A Poem for Amanda

2011-08-31T06:00:00.000-07:00

I have a best friend who is sweet as can be,
She’s sassy, she’s spunky – she’s stronger than me!

Her freckles are lovely, set off by red hair.
But saying you like them will earn you a glare.

Her eyes clearly are hazel, do not call them brown!
She might sigh, huff and puff and then fake a frown.

She knows how to paint, to draw and to sew.
She is quite the accomplished, that anyone would know.

She’s there when I need her, she’ll drive all the way,
She knows how to listen and just what to say.

Conversing with her, the topics always are deep.
She’s one of the few that keeps making me think.

Amanda, dear Amanda, my sweet pal and bud –
Until you move here with me… my tears will make mud.

A Few Ode-to-WKU Letters...

2011-08-30T05:52:00.000-07:00

A beautiful campus, located on top of the only hill in Bowling Green, KY.

Our school mascot. Supposedly, red blobs represent a "hill-topper."

Just saying "hilltoppers" did not prepare me for the breath-taking (literally) campus.

Dear WKU, School of "the Hill-Toppers",
   I know that you think that your steep hills and practically vertical stair cases are "good for my health" but in actuality I prefer life, not death.
   Sincerely,
       I'm Completely Out of Breath

Dear WKU,
   I know that as a student of your University I am considered a "hill-topper"; however, the truth of the matter is... I don't "top" hills. Heck, I can't even skip-to-my-lou.
     Sincerely,
      I Despise Walking On Up Campus

**Slight Dramatization**

Dear Subway on Campus,
   When I ask for extra napkins, I would appreciate it if you pretended NOT to know they were for mopping up my sweating face. It's your fault you are located at the top of the hill. Not mine.
   Sincerely,
Next Time I'll Pack My Own Lunch and Napkins

Dear Subway on Campus,
   Why didn't you tell me that you aren't the only Subway on campus, and that there was one closer to my office building??
     Sincerely,
       Slightly Peeved and Still Out of Breath

Dear Young and Slightly Vain Students,
    I know how inviting the grassy knoll in the middle of campus is, but it is not actually for you to lay sunbathing on.
     Sincerely,
I've Never Seen That Many Bikinis On Campus Before

Dear Lost Freshman,
    Please. When you are standing in between classrooms 110 and 109 -- don't ask me if I can help you find room 107 with a confused look on your face.
    Sincerely,
     Guess Who Is Unobservant?

A New 'First Day'

2011-08-29T07:42:00.000-07:00

Today is the first "official" day of classes on the campus of Western Kentucky University, but it's not the same "first day of class" as it has been for the past 4 years.

I didn't go to prayer at 7:14 AM in the Curris Center at Murray State University. Instead, I prayed in my apartment. Instead of pacing in front of the same 4 potted plants that I have for years... I paced the three inches that the cord on my hair-straightner allowed me.

Breakfast was not in the T-room with all of my wonderful friends. Heck, I didn't even eat this morning -- I forgot (until now).

Parking was actually easier, and closer to my location (thanks to the gigantic parking structure in front of the Academic Complex building), and I was completely grateful for my $90 parking permit.

I'm not sitting at a desk that my thighs don't fit under in Sparks Hall (but don't get me wrong, I love that desk!) I'm sitting at a big-girl (that I am) desk with homework spread in front of me and nothing to work on besides that.

I'm not dirty-dishwater-blonde... I'm a red head.

I didn't wake up with 4 roommates in my house. One still sleeping, one eating cereal and doing her quiet time at the breakfast table, one leaning against the counter while she eats her breakfast, and the other thumping around upstairs. It was just me, and my cats (all outside, homeless, lonely ones) David and Calypso meowing outside my door for their morning chow.

I'm not carrying a backpack with all the books I could possibly need for homework and classes (in order to stay on campus without leaving), rather I'm carrying a highly fashionable and completely unlike me Vera Bradley bag with enough homework to complete 2 class assignments (which is oddly heavier than my back pack in Murray would be).

Today, Katie Gagel is not on Gmail to gab to about the latest happenings, my new red hair, the fact that I really want to fly, or that I'm still waiting for my Toms to come in the mail. Instead, she is most likely getting ready for bed... as it is around 10 PM Buson-Korea-time.

On the first day of classes... my classes aren't actually starting. Blackboard is up and running, giving me plenty to do, pages to write, and dozens of chapters to attempt to absorb; however, face-to-face classes don't start until September 10th. Shockingly enough, I will only meet a total of 6 times for each class. Yes, they are 4 hour classes... but six meetings seems so few compared to MWF and TR classes.

Tonight is the night that everyone in XA meets in the Red Zone? or Fresh Foods? (I can't remember) for dinner and meeting new people. We are not meeting in Winslop.

When I ran into a professor in the social work department today, I did not say "Dr. Chakradhar!! It's so good to see you again! How was your summer!? Have you made your rag rug yet?" Instead, I say "Hi. I'm Savannah, the new GA. You met me at orientation but I have no idea what your name is, can you remind me?" This awkward introduction is followed by an even more awkward handshake... I firmly grip is hand and shake it, then release and pull back too quickly. This causes the professor, who is still gripping my hand, to jerk forward. I guess this point should have said "today, awkward situations still happen to me."

Today I'm the lost-and-need-a-campus-map, befuddled and new person who can't answer any questions that come on the phone because I don't know any answers.

Yes, all of these things are new and different.... But a couple things remain the same.

Jesus still has His hand on my back, pushing forward to talk to the new student who came in the office to drop off papers, telling her how much I like her Bieber glasses.

When I realize that, while today is such a different "first day" than what I have had for the past four years, it's just as great, exciting and filled with new opportunities... He nods His head and smiles (I'm sure of it).

When I begin to feel stressed, panicked and overwhelmed with my schedule, He gently reminds me He is in control as He changes my schedule, my internship, and gives me a job where I can do homework.

When I feel lonely, He surrounds me and tells me something sweet.

When I find a picture of bird silhouette on a background of old lace and pressed flowers... I still squeal with delight and show the person closest to me.

It's a new day, with a big change. But it's the same me, the same source of joy, and I am still blessed and surrounded by good things.

It's worth it. Watch it.

2011-04-25T11:18:00.000-07:00

Lamo. I know.

2011-04-19T12:14:00.000-07:00

I know it's lame. But I can't help it.
1. I'm addicted to lists... so if I see one that I could fill out, I turn to my blog.
2. I don't have too much time to sit and write a creative post about life, Jesus, or wooden spatulas.
3. I don't remember to sit and write a creative post.
4. I read my Aunt's blog daily. It's two minutes of sliding down in my chair so my back is all slouchy and comfy, wishing that I lived in Duluth and that I had the cleverness, wit, beauty, wisdom and poetic writing rythm that my lovely Aunt does.

So I know, it's lame... but all of my (two and a half) posts that I have written lately (in the past year) are mostly responses to my Aunt's blog. Oh well. Here'goes.
Here is my list of ABC's.

Age: 22. Thankfully, this is the year that I remember this. For some odd reason it was impossible to remember, last year, that I was 21.

Bed Size: Twin. But I'm pretty sure I could stretch out on a California king all by myself. I'll need that someday (soon) when I have a job and a Golden, Malamute and Akita sharing it with me. *leap of excitement*

Chore You Hate: Folding laundry. I don't do it. I try, I make promises, I write in my journal, I pray... and nothing. It doesn't happen. I hate it. So instead, it sits in a heap on my floor. Which is fine. Someday I'll have a closet, and I'll be hanging everything up. Underwear, bra's, my Sunday best, pajamas, scarves, everything. Nothing will be in a drawer.
Pah! Silly!! Drawers are for scrapbooking material and dog toys.

Dogs: Future dogs: Golden Retriever, Malamute and Akita. Throw in a good loyal mutt too.

Essential Start of Your Day: An extra hour of sleep.

Favorite Color: Turquoise, Grey-blue, Mossy Green, Browns... Pretty much anything you would find in the life of a wood elf.

Gold or Silver: Either. But I like tarnished, old, antique metals. If it's too bright -- Yuck.

Height: 5’10″, unfortunately... since I seem to be taller than 99% of guys I know. According to the all-trustworthy Wikipidia, the average height of males aged 20-29 in America is 5'10''. It's a lie. It's all a lie.

Instruments You Play(ed): Psaltry, Penny Whistle, Mountain Dulcimer.

Job Title: Unpaid, temporary full-time social work intern.

Kids: I'm simply a babysitter. I currently sit on Isaiah (2), Mark Andrew (2) and Siler (3).

Live: Murray, KY. Soon to be Duluth. Yes, I know, it's cold.... but trust me.... when the word "Duluth" is not only chosen for you by some random "findyourspot.com" website but is THEN sung in Veggie Tale songs... you know it's a sign from God. *wink, wink*

Mom’s Name: Christine Mary, Marmie, Momsy, Mutha, Mimsy, Mom, Moo Moo. (totally kidding about the Mom part).

Nicknames: Scooter, Snoop dogg, Scoot, Van, Savvy, Vannah, Sav, and Flowing Grasslands. (Flowing Grasslands is a new one. Thanks Chad!)

Overnight Hospital Stays: Nope.

Pet Peeve: When people chew with your mouth open. Yes, it's understandable if I can hear you crunching on carrots, but I should not be able to hear pudding slopping around in your mouth.
OH! And noise at night. That's annoying.

Quote From a Movie: (after being seasick) "Carrots!? Why is it always carrots?? I didn't even eat carrots!!" - Milo, Disney's Atlantis

Right or Left handed: Right. But a new years resolution since the time I was, eh... 10? was to right with both hands.

Siblings: Mr. Eric Townley and my adopted sister, Ms. Jennifer Lofland. She's the runt of the family.

Time You Wake Up: 7:00. Prayer meeting starts at 7:14. Needless to say... sometimes I wear yesterdays makeup.

Underwear: I'm a strong believer.

Veggie You Dislike: Beets. Cooked carrots. Peas.

What Makes You Run Late: A Martha Stewart Magazine. Or Youtube videos.

X-Rays You Have Had: Fingers, Ankles (each one several times), Knees, Teeth, Dorsal Fin.
I'm sorry folks. I am in a really sarcastic and stupid mood. Sigh.

Yummy Food You Make: Creamy chicken enchiladas. Panini's. Vegetable Tempura.

Zoo Animal You Like Best: Bats and sting rays... all though, I really don't like the zoo. I haven't gone since I was probably 12... but still. I'd rather see animals on Discovery Channel being tracked through the jungle, rather than through iron bars.

I love how that ended on a really serious note.

Goodbye.

They were all one in a million...

2011-03-17T12:46:00.000-07:00

In a recent post on my Aunt's blog she wrote about all of her grandparents, sharing a word she associated with each of them. I thought this was a wonderful idea, so instead of posting a lengthy reply on her blog, I am writing my response here.

First of all, before I begin, it is important for you to know two things: 1) My chosen words will most likely be associated with my favorite memory of them.... 2) I have a lot of grandparents.

Grandpa Sooter: Bread. Every time that I have visited my grandpa, he immediately took me to the store to buy two things -- sweet sticky cereal, such as cookie crisps (which were not allowed at home) and bread to feed the seagulls with. If I went and spent a week with him, it was highly possible that we went every other day to go feed the seagulls. We would take our loaf of bread, drive down to the beach and spend the day running from the waves, building sandcastles, lecturing him about where to or not to throw his cigar butts, and throwing bits of junky bread to hungry, greedy, and overly obnoxious seagulls. I always tried to feed the little runt of a seagull, maybe the one that had an injured foot or seemed to be missing a feather, and he always made an effort to toss a piece of bread to the top-dog of the flock (which always was a very proud and beautiful bird). It was always my favorite day spent with him...

Grandma Dorothy: Beautiful. Now my grandma is possibly the fairest of them all, without a doubt, but what I am referring to is the perfume Beautiful, by Estee Lauder. Where I am working now, there is a woman that comes in every Monday and Friday (to take part in Wii bowling) who wears this same perfume. Every time I speak to her, I tear up and sigh with longing to hop on a plane to California to see my beautiful grandma. The reason I associate this to her is not just because its the perfume she has always worn, but because every time that I have gone to visit her I have returned with something doused in that smell. If I remember correctly, the last time I was with my grandma, I returned home with a gorgeously fluffy and ridiculously soft bathrobe... I still have it and I can still smell her perfume. It's this perfume that always starts the memories of total laughter, playing the game Trouble at the dining room table, and counting pennies. These are the best memories a girl could have. I could write a book with them.

Grandpa Carlos: Refrigerator. This is the funniest memory that I have of any of my grandparents.... I remember going up to Grandma Bertha in the late afternoon and asking for a snack or a cookie from one of the six sitting around the kitchen. As a good grandma should, she always shooed me out of the kitchen all the while "tsk"ing and "hmph"ing saying that I was going to ruin my dinner if I ate something now.... So I would go out to Grandpa Carlos' shop. Sitting a little bit away from the house was the ultimate man cave, complete with radio, tools, wood, dirt, and a refrigerator. From what I can remember, Grandma never set foot in his shed. She didn't care about tools and typically left him to fix such and stuff and create this and that in his beloved tool shed. Anyways, I would go out to his shed, tell him that I was hungry... What do you think he did? He opened up his refrigerator and let me pick out a snack. You would be shocked and amazed (some even horrified) at the display of eats he had. He had everything from cupcakes and cookies to Popsicles, ice cream and fudge. He had pudding and jello, soda and juice, Gatorade and yogurt. Everything a hungry (and disobedient) child could desire. So I would hop over grab a soda pop and maybe a Popsicle, and head over to my chair next to him. I would eat my Popsicle, and sigh in satisfaction when it didn't matter that I dripped my grape Popsicle on the wood-shavings covered floor. It was a child's dream place, and I'd give anything to go back to that.

Grandma Bertha: Now this one is hard.... I think of Grandma Bertha and I think of love, warmth, letters, hugs, cooking, and so much more. I honestly don't think that I can pick just one word, so let's go with two. Spiders and Homework. It makes me shake my head and chuckle out loud as I sit here getting ready to tell you of my mischievous behavior as a kid at my grandma's house. We all know that I really enjoy a good practical joke... and, unfortunately for Grandma, it all started at her house. Every morning while she was making Mexican chorizo and eggs in a skillet I would sneak into her room and place a plastic spider under the messed up covers on her bed. And everyone morning, she would go in to make her bed, find the gummy fake spider, and start yelling. She would find me peering around the door frame, squealing with laughter, and start chiding me half in English and half in Spanish. She would point her finger at me, and say "Do you want your Grandma to die of a heart attack? Do you want that blood on your hands??" and proceed to tell me how badly I had scared her. Now.... I don't know if I really did scare her or not, but it certainly was rewarding to have her scream like that. Which is why I continued to put spiders in her bed every day I spent with her, until my parents and I moved from California to Tennessee.
The second word, homework, will be a short story. Basically, when I would bring all of my homework (remember, I was home schooled) to my Grandma's house on the days that my Mom would work, I would take my homework sheets and stuff them under furniture. Spelling worksheets, social studies.... they all went under the kitchen hutch or her bedroom dresser. They were never found until after we moved to Tennessee. How convenient for me!

Grandpa Harold: Unfortunately, I don't have very many memories of my Grandpa Harold... although I have been taught and told so many wonderful things about him from my mom. I know that he was sweet, kind, gentle and an absolutely wonderful father, husband and grandpa. If I had to pick a word(s) to describe him, or to associate to him it would have to be something along the lines of Easter Egg. I remember one Easter, me and all the other cousins lounging in the living room while the moms, aunts and grandma were in the kitchen. I remember that Grandpa pulled me over to him, sat me on his knee and whispered to me the location of the prize Easter egg. This specific Easter egg had a $10 bill in it... and I distinctly remember my cousin Benjamin being adamant that he would be the first to find the golden egg. Obviously he wasn't, and I was.

Grandma Connie: Generosity, to the extreme. Again, I don't have many memories of my mother's side of the family... so I don't have as many memories of her mother and father as I do my other grandparents. Grandma Connie died soon after we had moved from California, and I have a hard time recalling too many memories of her. But I do know that I loved her, loved spending time in her house filled with rabbit decorations, and loved going "out on the town" with her. I remember her being sweet and loving, always hugging me and kissing me on the forehead... and I remember her always giving her time, her things (which little girls love, especially old perfume bottles), and taking me shopping for a special treat. Trips out with Grandma were always sweet, and made me feel like a grown-up. We would always go to a very special little local cafe, and browse around some local boutiques. She was even the one to buy me my first and only barbie doll.... and the first to start loving a driveway lined with flowers.

This just about covers it.

2011-02-05T09:51:00.000-08:00

I Am……an animal lover and not ashamed to admit it.
I Want…… all of this "where am I going to graduate school and where will I be living" muddledness to become clear. But I also want Jesus to take care of me in His way.
I Should……wake up earlier in the morning. Ya know... get some Jesus time in BEFORE my day starts.
I Wish…… that Katie Gagel and Jennifer Lofland would not move away from Murray before I do.
I Hate……the devil’s cruel assaults on families. *not originally mine, but it IS what I hate*
I Fear…….earthworms.
I Hear……clothes in the dryer and someone brushing their teeth in the bathroom.
I Search…… for useless facts about everyone I know on Facebook. Yes, I am a Facebook Stalker.
I Wonder……what I did before Gmail's Chat existed?
I Regret…….coming into college as a Biology major.
I Love…….wearing flowers in my hair, planning dinner parties, and getting my home ready for guests.
I Always……have wanted to be a stay at home wife and mom.
I Usually……laugh WAY too loudly. It's a twisted type of "Guffaw".
I Am Not……accepting of change
I Dance……like a crazy fool - when I'm alone.
I Sing…….waaaaay too loud when I'm in the car by myself.
I Never…….have watched Star Wars or liked oatmeal. I know, I'm un-American.
I Rarely……go without Diet Coke.
I Cry……during every episode of the biggest loser.
I Am Not Always……humble or mindful.
I Lose……my school I.D. constantly.
I’m Confused……about the next step of my life.
I Need…….the love of God, praise and worship music, friendships, post-it-notes, a fully stocked kitchen, and more love for people.
I Have……the most amazing internship in the world. As well as the best family, the most wonderful friends, and I have access to the most extrordinary and prized campus ministry in the nation.

Today's 9 Things

2010-12-13T13:07:00.000-08:00

1. My friend, the other student worker in my office (Tiffany), OFFERED to come help me paint my room tonight. I’m thrilled at the thought of help!

2. I’m painting my room tonight. (Bet ya didn't know that one, did you!?) A lovely shade of blue grey. My bed will have a yellow duvet, with sage, brown, dark blues, and purple colors in all the various and un-matched pillows. The walls will be covered with vintage plates, antique keys, dried flowers and sepia toned old pictures.

3. My eyes are really dry today. I’m in need of some eye drops.

4. There is a potluck at The Guys House (one of the houses my pastor owns, which is rented out to 5 guys in Chi Alpha) tomorrow night. I’m making triple-chocolate peppermint trifle. It’s the best dessert I have ever made. And I am really looking forward to this fun-filled potluck – it’s going to be joy-filled!

5. I have some pretty amazing bosses. They are funny, sweet, respectable and caring. Jesus has greatly blessed me!

6. I keep thinking about all the books I have that I want to read this Christmas break (Flashbang, all the Chronicles of Narnia, little women, prophetic evangelism, velvet elvis, and another book I can’t remember that someone gave me).

7. This is the second year of my life that I did not get to decorate my home for christmas (my Murray one, which is my more permanent one; I spend the most time there). It kind of makes me sad… Decorating for Christmas and putting up a tree is one of my favorite things.

8. I have a new pen pal, her name is Julie Anderson. She lives in Ohio and we are pretty much the same person – except that she’s red haired, slim and gorgeous. I love her already. We swap recipes.

9. I have spent more time with Katie Gagel (one of my best friends) in the past week than I ever have before. And I love it. We talk, watch movies, and talk some more. Then we stare at her Christmas tree.

Go Ahead, Knock My Socks Off.

2010-11-15T15:47:00.000-08:00

Sunday Night:
Fifteen minutes before church, I shrunk one of the two pairs of jeans I own. I thoughtlessly put them in the dryer, forgetting that they were already almost too short and were made of cotton. They shrunk three inches.

I immediately began to cry, because once again I was stressing about finances and constantly asking God why He wasn't providing for me. The Steve-Urkel-midget-jeans were just the icing on the cake of bitterness. Three days earlier I had lost a twenty dollar bill that I owed someone for a gift I bought a share in. I was starting to stress over internship clothes again. I realized that I had to buy a dress for a wedding I'm attending next week, since the only other one I own I will be wearing to the rehearsal dinner. And about two weeks ago I got a $15 dollar parking ticket that I did not deserve. I appealed the ticket, but the lady quite rudely told me that they knew the truth (which wasn't true at all) and my appeal wouldn't do squat for me. So here I am with Steve-Urkel-midget-jeans, an undeserved parking ticket, not too much money for a dress, a lost $20 bill, and worrying about internship clothes.

I reluctantly go to church after bawling my eyes out. Two songs into praise and worship I think to myself that I just need to go home and sleep. Just sleep. I don't care that I should be at church. I don't care that I'll probably hear the answer to this problem in the sermon. I just want to go ignore everything and sleep. Just as I'm about to turn and leave, a friend comes and stands next to me.

Crap. My exit way is blocked. Oh well, as soon as everyone sits down, I'll get up and leave.

As soon as we sit down, I reach my right hand to grab my keys and bible, intending to leave.

She starts scratching my back.

So I stayed for the rest of the sermon.

The sermon was, of course, about being blessed, God's provision and how God has called us to bless others. Eventually, I got over my bitterness about the Steve-Urkel-midget-jeans and other financial stress and tuned in to what was being said. After church I went directly to Walmart where I bought coffee so that I'll actually wake up in the morning. And then I went to bed.

Monday:

Woke up one full minute before my alarm went off, thanks to the automatic brew option on the coffee pot I keep in my room. I spent some time in the Word, focused on God, and told Him I loved Him and that I really did trust Him to provide for me. After my quiet time I went up to go look at a hat that was laying on my desk, and lo-and-behold! there was my lost 20 dollar bill!!! From there on, it was kind of a snow ball effect. I got my birthday/Christmas money early from my Grandma, my ticket appeal was approved and I am being refunded $15 dollars, the dress I had picked out a week ago for the wedding was marked down from $40 to $22, and my parents let me pick out over half the clothes I will need for my internship for Christmas presents.

So yeah. Don't let Steve-Urkel-midget-jeans send you into a tizzy... Find a friend to keep you in church by scratching you back... And thank you're Grandma for being awesome.
Go ahead, let Jesus knock your socks off.

Please note that this is a picture of a girl on a STORMY DAY*, standing in a CANOE* filled with VEGETABLES*, with LEAVES* falling around her, ARMS LIFTED TO THE SKY*. This was a result of typing "gratefulness" into Google Images. And I like it. A lot. It's not relevant, but I sure do like it. It's kinda... hippy-ish. *grins ear to ear*
* These are a few of my favorite things!

Update How-To Process for the Clumsy

2010-11-08T07:35:00.000-08:00

1. It's important to begin with being bare-footed, as this "sets the stage" for the recommended two out of four incidents.

2. Place the pillow from the couch on the floor, stand up from current sitting place on couch, heavily step on pillow, making sure that the pillow slides quickly out from under you.

3. Crash to the floor, making sure there is a heavy impact between knees and floor, along with sliding forward... producing rug burn.

4. Wait five minutes.

5. Trip over shoes (the ones you took off from earlier, to make sure your foot had no traction when hitting the pillow), fall to your already rug-burned knees. The important difference in your fall this time around, to make it doubly treacherous, place your right hand out towards the coffee table. This ensures that the palm of your hand smashes forcibly onto a large screw-looking thing sticking out of the table.

6. Now bleed a little.

7. Regain balance and compose yourself. Pray for grace (Not the saving kind, you already have that, the other kind that keeps you on your feet)

8. Go fix hot tea to distract you from the burning on your knees. Plug you computer in, so that the cord stretches across the living room. Place a minimum of 4 items on the coffee table beside your lap top.

9. Stand in front of your laptop drinking your tea, and accidentally burp. This will cause the hot tea to spurt out your nose. Quickly turn and head towards towards a napkin, in my case it was located in the kitchen.

10. Entwine your feet in the computer cord, tripping yourself, and causing all items that you had previously set on the table to fall off.

11. Give up with staying at the house, and go to dinner at the local College Cafeteria.

12. Walk out to your car to head over to a night of fun games at your Christ Ambassador house, and step in a pothole. It's important to note several things at this point. 1) You should already be sore from the previous falls. 2) You should have considerably weak knees. 3). It should be pitch black out, so that you are not expecting the pot hole.

13. After your foot hits the hole, let your knee give out so that you crumple to the ground in a heap. Scrap skin off of your knee cap and elbow. Meanwhile, slightly twist your ankle.

14. Lay on the ground for several minutes, groaning in pain, bighting your lip to stop crying.

15. Bleed a lot.

16. Get a bandaid.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is some advice on how to be clumsy... of course, this information is gathered from my own personal experience. I wouldn't want to mislead you. No, no. I make sure that all of my "How-To's" are taught from my own mistakes, I mean lessons.
Good day.

Today's Thoughts

2010-11-01T13:41:00.000-07:00

New glasses are making me quite naseous and head-achy.
Cravings for Diet Coke really don't go away very easily.
What hits the spot is a pumpkin scented candle.
It's time to wash (or fold) some of my socks...
Petting a calm but fearless armadillo in my yard two weeks ago was fantastic! He even walked over my foot!
I've never changed back into my comfy clothes so many times in one day!
Coffee would be pretty close to perfection right now...
Jesus cares about the little things in my life.. it's pretty perfect and romantic.
Being back in my own bed at night is delightful.
The game "Bricks Breaking" on Facebook is addictive.
20 days before visiting Duluth for Thanksgiving!
I wish I had some really beautiful flowers right now... and maybe some lace.
I'd give anything for Peter Pan to be real...

Fall, Nat King Cole and Bare Feet

2010-09-27T14:20:00.000-07:00

Today just seems really fall-ish. All day at work today (a total of 6 hours) I listened to the Nat King Cole Pandora radio station. All day long I felt the cool breeze blowing through the window from outside... and all day long I thought about fall.
And these are the things that I think of.

Nat King Cole/Ella Fitzgerald/Bing Crosby type music
Crisp Apples
Coffee mugs
Pine scented Candles
Grass
Baking with pumpkin in my kitchen -bare-footed and apron-clad
Reading Jane Austin on a quilt in the grass
Taking a walk through the woods
Sleeping at night with all the windows open - bundled up in my feather blanket
Painting... with anything: finger paints, acrylics, water colors, etc.
Making hand-painted chocolates
Blue silk scarves
Old-fashioned cameras
Your grandpa's sweater that's too big, but still fits just right
Brown toe nail polish
Picnics with a best friend
Antique shopping
Opening all the windows so that the earthy smell from outside will come inside
Hippies playing guitars under beutiful old trees
Blondies (a type of brownie) chalk full of pecans
Hearts carved into trees
Clothes lines
Hammocks
Caramel
Campfires

Honestly... this list could go on and on for pages and pages... so I'll just leave it at that and say again how delightfully cheery and fall-ish today has been.

She Had Restroom Problems

2010-09-16T09:56:00.000-07:00

This is the conversation that I had with the Walmart cashier, Leetta, this morning.

Me: Good morning, how are you? Leetta: I'm good, I had some restroom problems yesterday though.
*awkward pause*
In my head: Do I respond to that? Just show... compassion, Savannah. It's only awkward if you make it awkward.
Me: Oh. I'm sorry. Hope it's better today.
Leetta: Oh, it is. Although it wasn't this morning.
Me: Hmm. Well.
Leetta: Yesterday was by far the worst. There was this one time where I almost didn't even make it through one transaction with a customer. I was lucky that I did.
In my head: oh my... please... don't go any farther. Why are you saying this?
Me: *sympathetic head nod*
Leetta: Yeah, and then, one time, I had to call over a CSM (Customer Service Manager) to help me out. It was rough.
In my Head: You really don't look like a person who would share too much information. Hmm. Guess you can't judge a book by the cover.
Me: Uh-huh.
Leetta: And like I said, it happened again this morning when I got here. Darn register problems. Had to get the computer tech out here twice to fix it. But I can finally get through a transaction without the computer shutting down.
*stunned silence*
Today's grateful thought: That I didn't say anything about restrooms... or Gas-X. Or fiber. Because that would have been awful.
I'm glad it was "register" problems and not "restroom" problems that were ailing my cashier.

A Wise Woman Actually Picks Up the Hammer and Nails...

2010-09-14T08:29:00.000-07:00

I have an aerial view of a massive warehouse... it's as if I'm suspended from the ceiling and have super-power eyesight... I can see every corner of this gigantic place.
In the middle of this concrete expanse is a woman. She's standing with her arms at her side, her face in a mournful expression. Surrounding her, and covering the floor of the warehouse, are supplies. An immense amounts of supplies. In my opinion, you could probably build a whole house with what I see placed around her. Not that I'm some kind of construction guru... but still. There are hammers, nails, power-tools, drills, and a LOT of wood, siding, roof shingles and even some plumming things. It's pretty much an endless supply.
As I look down at this woman, however, I realize that I can hear what she's saying. She's pacing around in the tiny amount of space that she has (the only space not covered in building material) and moaning, groaning and complaining. She's saying that she's inadequate and ill-equipped to build her house. I gasp in surprise and shock! How can she say that? She's surrounded by everything she could possibly need? And now that I think about it, aren't those construction and architecture geniuses in each corner of the room? How can she possibly say this!? She has everything she needs!!!?
Proverbs 14:1a "A wise woman builds her home"
I'm that woman in this story.
I struggle with some feelings of inadequacy... It's an attack that I have been feeling lately.
I'm not wise enough to lead a Bible Study.
I don't have more than 5 Bible verses memorized, so what right do I have to be a leader?
I don't ask ALL of my classmates to come to a Wednesday night Word & Worship, so how come I am supposed to encourage others to be bold and do that exact thing?
I'm ill-equipped. I can't do it. I can't do these tasks. I can't have this responsibility. I'm inadequate.
These are the thoughts that have quietly been sneaking in my head for the past two months. And this morning in my quiet time was the first time that I really brought this up with Jesus. In my conversation with Him this morning, I started telling Him of my feelings... And I just began to ask Him to look inside my heart, observe and scrutinize it all, and come back and tell me what He found that was not in His will. Whether it was something that I wasn't doing, something that I was doing that I shouldn't be, or if it was some kind of thought that wasn't founded in Him, I wanted Him to pick it out and reveal it.
Proverbs 3:11-12 says, "My child, don't reject the Lord's discipline, and don't be upset when He corrects you. For the Lord corrects those He loves, just as a Father corrects a child in whom He delights." I know that my whole thought process of "I'm ill-equipped"is messed up. It's not right. But I couldn't for the life of you tell you why. So I wanted (and still want) God to come in and see and judge my heart, correcting me in His loving and merciful way. His correction is only going to hurt if I let it. I can take His corrections and use them to get closer to Him. Psalm 139:23 [Amplified Bible] says "Search me [thoroughly], O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!" I wanted this, and I got it.
I felt like I just needed a verse to meditat on, so I turned to the proverb of the day... and got through half of the first verse.
Proverbs 14:1a - "A wise woman builds her house"
How do you build a house? With supplies and tools, and by picking those things up and using them.

I'm surrounded by equipment and building materials.
I am involved in one of the most out-reach and ministry oriented campus ministries in the nation.
My pastor is legendary (ha, literally... this is what people in Duluth told me when they found out who my pastor was).
I am completely surrounded by people who are chalk-full of wisdom, and who basically hand it out like free candy.
I have like ten Bibles. Plus, a really great study Bible.
I have access to all sorts of podcasts, and sermon series from every major church in America.
And Jesus equips me everday.
It's just those days that I choose not to pick up what He gives me and use it that I am "ill-equipped".
A wise woman builds her house... so I need to start building mine.
I need to pick up the materials (books, God's Word, Sermons on CD's, worship music) and apply it to my life.
A house isn't built unless you spend time and effort doing so.
I'm not going to have the knowledge and wisdom that I want unless I am willing to put time into reading His word.
I'm not going to become even more closer to Him, unless I pick up my responsibility in our relationship. He doesn't want a one-sided friendship or a one-sided conversation.
I'm not going to be ill-equipped any longer. I'm picking up the tools that surround me, and putting them to use.
I'm going to be the wise woman that builds her house.

Word to the Wise

2010-05-28T06:32:00.000-07:00

Dear friends,

   Here is a lesson learned from my own personal experience...

When you are normally in the habit of calling your mother on the phone around the time before you go to bed, and you forget and lay down in bed without calling her... don't. Set some type of alarm that will remind you, or place a sticky-note by your pillow. Why such a big deal you ask? I'll tell you. If you go to bed at 9:45 without remembering to call your mother... she'll call you at 10:08 wondering why you sound so groggy. If you tell her you were asleep... be prepared for her to gasp in shock and say "You forgot about me??". And worst of all, for the next three days that you call her she'll answer the phone by saying, "Forgotten Mother's Association, how may I help you?". You might even get the supposed voicemail; which says, "You have reached the Forgotten Mother's Association. Unfortunately, either all phones are busy or all Mothers are meeting to lament their lost identity. Please, leave a message after the beep."

                           Yours sincerely and regretfully,
                                                    Savannah Sooter

Cheney Anastasia Duvall M.D.

2010-05-27T06:47:00.000-07:00

Has there ever been a book that you have read over and over, until you have basically memorized the pages? I read the Cheney Duvall M.D. series multiple times when I was around 12 and 13. I thought that this blog could be about an old memory of mine... and while talking with a friend several days ago, I remembered this series of books.
I'm not sure that I can bring you to a full understanding of how much I loved these books... If you go to the library and pick one up off the shelf... that grape juice stain on the back of "In the Twilight In the Evening", yeah that's me. The wear and tear seen on "Shadow of the Mountains" is because I hauled that book around in my purse everywhere I went. I read them over and over and over.
The Cheney Duvall M.D. series is the story of a young girl who graduates from the first women's medical school in the United States. The time period is the late 1800's. With her ambitious degree and shocking independency, Dr. Duvall sets off on a medical adventure in each of her books (eight total). It wasn't just the stories that I loved... I'm pretty sure I adored everything about these books. It was pure delight to read the details about each exquisite party gown she wore... I enjoyed every drop of blood and slice of the scalpel (you have to remember that I wanted to be a general surgeon from the age of 11 to the age of 17... I wonder why?)... I loved Cheney. She was strongwilled, independent, beautiful, had a beauty-mark on her cheek, craved blood and guts, and loved God. And did I mention that she could shoot a gun better than any man she encountered?
There was even a point where I would have loved to change my name to Cheney Anastasia Duvall! I knew in my 12 year old mind, however, that my parents wouldn't be happy that I wasn't a Sooter anymore; therefore, I grudgingly decided to only change my first and middle name. (I'm guessing that I thought at that time it wouldn't offend my parents to change all but my last name.)

All of those things I loved... but there was something I liked even better about these books. His name was Shiloh Irons. Yes. My first "fictional character" crush was on the man in this book. He was Cheney's nurse... (see how the roles were switched?) and boy, was he great. According to the book (and my own visualization of him) he was 6'4'', blond, buff, and manly. He was a former boxer who had no nursing experience, and was suffering from a loss of identity. He grew up in an orphanage in Louisiana, and never knew who is family was. He didn't even know his real name. He was named Shiloh because of the company name that was printed on the box he was found in, and his last name came from his fame in fighting. He was loyal, mysterious, and he wore flannel. What more could a 12 year old want?

I eventually got over my love for Shiloh... and stopped reading the books once I was remembering words and quotes... and I haven't read them since. But that will always be a fond and funny memory that I have... and could possibly explain why I still like shaggy hair and flannel shirts.

You Can Fall at His Feet and Call Him Lord and God...

2010-05-25T06:17:00.000-07:00

"...that people often say about Him: "I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept His claim to be God." That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic--on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg--or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronising nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to. "

- C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Thoughts...

2010-04-19T12:24:00.000-07:00

1. I woke up this morning and realized that I have a TON of stuff to get done before school ends... and guess what!? Next week is the last week of classes.

2. I bought a Yoga DVD -- I need it to get rid of all these knots in my back and shoulders.

3. I love reading. And when I read, I lose track of time. It's not that I mean to, or even that I know in the back of my mind that I have been reading for a while... It's that I get so consumed by the story, that I am the story, that I lose track of time. This, for the average person that has a life, is not a good thing.

4. I just bought a book off Amazon.com for $0.01. WoOpWoOp! Yes, I paid shipping.. but still, that's awesome.

5. I feel like I could pass out every time that I eat. Anytime I eat, whether it's a snack or meal, I get so sleepy I could fall out of my chair.

6. I'm completely ready for summer.

7. My favorite color nail polish is black. And, according to my friend Bryce, that would make me Emo. But, alas, I am not.

8. Today, in my weekly reminder to my Fusion (Bible Study) group, the subject line (which is always random. always) was this: "Are you wearing space pants? Because your butt is out of this world!" I laughed for a full 10 minutes afterwards. Picking my subject line for my reminder email is a favorite part of the week.

9. Don't eat pixie sticks. They make you sick.

10. I love chatting with people on Gmail Chat. It makes me feel close to them, and I always get either a good laugh or some wise advice.

11. Jesus has set me free. He broke the chains that no one else can see, and released me. It's so much easier to run to Him now.

One Last Time...

2010-04-14T10:24:00.000-07:00

Dear friends-who-are-unable-to-post-on-my-wall,

I think I have fixed it finally.

So try again, you can practice on this blog post. =)

Go down to where it says "comments".

Click.

Scroll down, and enter your comment into the text bos.
Underneath the text box it says "Comment as:" use the arrow down and select Name/URL.
Enter in your name, and leave the URL box blank.
Click the "Post Comment" button.

I believe this should work.
I disabled an extra add-on that requires you to write the messed up letters that appear in a box.
This should make it easier for you to comment.

If this doesn't work... I enjoy the comments that you send via email. =) Thank you.

I got the favor!

2010-04-14T08:13:00.000-07:00

Philippians 4:19: And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Malachi 3:10-11: Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house, and prove Me now in this,'' says the Lord of hosts, "If I will not open for you the windows of heaven And pour out for you such blessing That there will not be room enough to receive it. 11. "And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, so that he will not destroy the fruit of your ground, nor shall the vine fail to bear fruit for you in the field,'' says the Lord of hosts;

1 Peter 5:7: casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

Proverbs 8:35: For whoever find me finds life, and recieves favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 3:3-4 (New Living Translation): 3 Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. 4 Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will earn a good reputation.

Psalms 5:12: For it is You who blesses the righteous man, O Lord, You surround him with favor as with a shield.

How could anyone ever possible say that God doesn't want to give us favor? That He wants to pour out His blessings on us? He cares for us, and He wants our lives to be filled with Him and be filled with good and happy things. And I believe that this favor is evident in our day to day lives. Let me share a story.

My best friend, Jennifer, was eating at a restaurant in Murray with a group of old high school friends and somehow got into this same discussion... Jennifer simply said, "I have the favor of God." Her friend said that wasn't true... and that she couldn't just say that. It went back and forth and the whole while Jennifer was insistant upon the fact that she had the favor of God on her life. That she was blessed. This favor/blessing showed up daily, she said. There would be certain situations where she would either recieve something, be protected, or simply blessed. Her friend simply would not believe her. Several minutes later, a waitress walked by with a yummy looking dessert. Jennifer, my always vocal friend, said out loud that it looked amazing. The next time the waitress came back through, she brought Jennifer this exact dessert... free of charge. The reason? She said she felt that Jennifer was favored. Had she heard the conversation and tried to help prove a point? Nope. Not at all. She had no clue.

I have a similar story that happened last week. Due to some inconsistancy, forgetfullness and the mistake of "making assumptions" with the head of the social work department, several of the Junior class had some trouble. Apparantly the head advisor didn't inform the students a year ago that they needed to make sure to take so many hours... in order to graduate. Well, right now I can think of about 5 students that this happened to. Everyone was freaking out. Plans were being made for summer classes and 18 hours the next semester. Tempers were rising, brows were lowering, mouths were pouting. The entire classroom was buzzing with the "excitement" of it all. I was getting anxious as well, wondering if the same was going to happen to me, when all of the sudden I remembered that I had the favor of God! And I began claiming it over my life and my situation. I didn't complain with the rest of the class. I simply said that I knew I wasn't going to have to stress about it.... it was going to be allright, no matter how it turned out for me.

Well guess what? Due to the amazing Miss Meagan Short, I am perfectly on time to graduate! Two semesters ago I had Meagan, who worked in Sparks hall at the time and helped students with their MAP reports (a "map" that shows you classes and hours you have had or still need to take), look over my classes with me. While everyone else is going to be cramming in summer classes and taking 18 hours next semester in order to graduate on time... I'm relaxing through the summer with no classes. Oh, and I'm only takin 12 hours next semester. It's simply lovely.

Now that's favor!!

Adding to my book collection...

2010-04-13T15:49:00.000-07:00

So today I finish classes and come back to my cozy house... my attention is immediately grabbed by this facinating brown cardbord box that is sitting on the dining room table. Dare I hope it's for me? Ah! It is! I give a shout of delight and race to find a knife to open it with! Inside *gasp!* are B-O-O-K-S.

They are from my dearest Aunt Julie. And I am awfully excited! (See picture below)

(my excited face, but with no makeup - sorry)

She bought me three books!
1) same kind of different as me - by Ron Hall and Denver Moore, with Lyan Vincent
2) A Girl of the Limberlost - by Gene Stratton Porter
3) No Compromise: the life story of Keith Green

I'm pretty excited to read these lovely books... unfortunately it is going to have to wait until summer. *sigh* School beckons...

Blog topic for tomorrow: I got the Favor!

Horses, Job Offers, and Brilliant Ideas

2010-04-11T19:05:00.000-07:00

This is Danni. She lives on a farm. Well, she lives in Murray, but her parents live on a farm. And this weekend, we got to go to her house.

Danni's family is absolutely amazing, and are some of the best hosts and hostesses I have ever met. They are warm and welcoming, honest and genuine, sweet and sassy. And they randomly ask people to come live with them. (I'll explain that later)

I can easily and truthfully say that Danni's house is one of my all-time favorite places to visit.

This is city-girl-J-lo, my best friend. Jennifer was born to live in the city.... you have no idea how true this statement is.

This weekend when we went to Danni's, Jennifer came along and we had a wonderful time. A highlight that, of course, included Jennifer was watching a highly suspenseful movie, "When a Stranger Calls" and watching Jennifer jump out of her seat (she was laying down) and give a gut-wrenching throaty scream. =) How fun!

And this is me with my new best friend, Duster.

The best part of this weekend was that we got to go horse back riding on Duster and Jake, two of LeeAnne and Patrick's horses. We road all over the farm in the most beautiful weather we have had in a while.
The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the fields were a brilliant green.

I love farm life. This isn't something that I just recently figured out... I have always loved being outside and I have always loved animals, and I have always wanted a cow. The fact is, this trip just intensified the desire to live on a farm. And while we were out riding I fell in love with horses. I haven't ridden a horse since my family moved away from our Mountain Shadow Manor Lane horse ranch in California, where we bred Arabians. It's been a long time, about 11 years. Well, Duster brought back that love of horses that is in my blood -- I get it from my parents. I remembered how to saddle a horse, put in the bit, and lunge the horse before riding it. I feel quite pleased with myself, since no one showed me how to do this, it was just something that I remembered to do and was good at. Nobody even had to tighten the girth on the saddle! *score*

Not only do I really REALLY want to live on a farm now, but I must own horses. It's a given. There is no way to get around it. And I need to have a dog like Rain (sorry, I don't have a picture of this golden haired beauty) to ride the trails of my 235 acre ranch with me.

Do you get the picture? I want to live on a ranch, own horses, go horseback riding, plant a garden, have a cow (not figuratively, literally), walk in the woods, and spend quiet times sitting on a log in a flower-carpeted meadow.

To make it worse, LeeAnne offered me a job. As a live in Nanny. If you were to open up my journal and read it, you would probably find where on some dream-infested days I have entered in my desire to be a live-in Nanny. That's how much I love kids. Well, Tanner and Macy are great, LeeAnne's farm is great, LeeAnne's horses are great, LeeAnne's house is great (there are chickens under the porch!!) and LeeAnne is great. That's a lot of greatness for one farm. She said that she would pay me $25 a day and give me room and board. In return, I would "slave away" while watching the two children. I would "work" and participate in the children's daily activities to keep them safe and keep them from getting bored while the parents were at work.... The job description is gruesome, I know, but I must go on. I would have to play outside, go fishing, and ride horses all day long.

Gah. It's killing me. Unfortunately, *sob* I can't. I have to stay here in Murray and work at Sparks to earn a lot of money. If it weren't for the fact that from January to May I won't be able to work due to my social work internship, and for the fact that I will be going to grad school in May where I will also not be working.... I would call LeeAnne right now and tell her I'm there.

But it's ok. Life moves on. I'm pretty sure that I will somehow get to live on a farm someday. What would be REALLY awesome and would incorporate ALL my desires would be this (imagine with me): I could work at a residential treatment center ranch.

Here's what that would do:
1) Allow me to share the all-consuming love of Jesus with people who desperately need it.
2) Allow me to use my Masters in Social Work.
3) Allow me to be a counselor/therapist.
4) Allow me to work with eating disorders and self-injury.
5) Allow me to work in a residential setting.
6) Allow me to work in a christian work place.
7) Allow me to live on a ranch.
8) Allow me to have animals.
9) Allow me to play outside.
10) Allow me to go horseback riding. (It's a type of therapy!)

It's brilliant.

Those are basically ten things that I have wanted to do for years now....
And it would be perfect.

So instead of pining away for a summer job that I desperately want but cannot have, I will pray that maybe one day God will be able to use me in a residential center for girls.... that is a horse ranch. And has lots of animals. And a garden.

Is it enough to say that I love you?

2010-03-07T07:01:00.000-08:00

Thursday I had two hours in the middle of the day that suddenly became free time... "Ooooo! What's that?", I wonder. "Maybe... uh, maybe I could cook! Or maybe I could..., oh! oh! I know! read! Who-oh. That's awesome."
And then, I got a better idea.
I went to get lunch, got it to go... and went home for a date with Jesus. I pulled my hammock out into the woods behind my house, grabbed my Bible, journal and food and started my date with Jesus.
I'm laying in the hammock, hat pulled over my eyes to block the bright light. My tummy is warmed by the sun shining down. It's simply glorious out. My shoe-clad toes are buried in crunchy leaves, causing the hammock to sway.
I'm happily basking in His love.
Suddenly, I'm filled with the desire to tell Jesus how much I love Him. I'm thinking, "Hm. Jesus, I love you a lot... Let me tell you how much, right now."
And although it seemed silly, here's what I did.
Jesus, I love you more than...... my love for cooking.
I love you more than........ my desire to stay in Murray and work in Christ Ambassadors forever.
I love you more than........ my Ralph Lauren "Blue" perfume that I have worn for 4 years.
I love you more than........ my favorite book.
I love you more than......... my love for laughter.
I love you more than......... walking barefoot on soft, green velvet grass.
I love you more than......... all my favorite movies.
I love you more than......... my mustard yellow cardigan.
I love you more than........ my best friend.
I love you more than........ finding a recipe that uses garlic, basil and shrimp.
I love you more than........ my family.
I love you more than........ all my hopes for my future.
I value you more than the breath that I breathe.

This weekend at a conference in Nashville, Bryan Kim taught on how God loves to hear that we love Him. Song of Solomon says that His heart is ravashed by us... and that our one glance at Him made Him hopelessly in love with us....

Song of Soloman 4:9 Message
"You've captured my heart, dear friend.

You looked at me, and I fell in love.
One look my way and I was hopelessly in love!"

In the Amplified version it says it this way,
"You have ravished my heart and given me courage, my sister, my [promised] bride; you have ravished my heart and given me courage with one look from your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace."

One glance at God, one little "I love you" or "I miss you" makes His heart beat violently in His chest for us.
So it started off seeming a little silly, but really.... I was meant to tell Jesus how much I love Him.
I love when people tell me that they enjoy time with me... that they love me... so doesn't He love that too?
I know that He wants to know that I love Him more than all the big and little things in life that I value or enjoy the most...
I want to do this more often. I want to sit down, and tell Jesus that I love Him more than all of my favorite things.
Because He is the life-giver. He is the joy-maker. And He melts at my whispers of "I love you".

You are His Love...

2010-03-05T07:16:00.000-08:00

Recently, it struck me how many people don't know that they are loved by Jesus. They don't see the blinding all-consuming love that He has for us. People don't realize that HE desires US... that HE wants to spend time with US. I know... its so hard to fathom... it's literally impossible to know how much He loves us. But I do know that it is quite possible to know that He loves us more than we can imagine. Listen to this...

You know when you look at the stars, and even though you know it's impossible, you try to count a few of them and become amazed at how confused you got? You thought you could count a lot, but there are so many you lose place? Well, God wants you to be awed by His love for you... He wants you to try to count over and over how many times He trys to tell you He loves you... and be completely amazed when you see how much He does.

This might be only for some girls, romantic fools like me, but do you know the rush of emotions that flood you when you imagine a girl in a field, arms spread wide, flowers in her hair, twirling in a flowy white skirt? That's us... that picture of beauty and perfection.... and spinning in His delight... Who created that image? Who placed those emotions in our heart?

There are certain situations... certain times that create these intense emotions in us... these are some of the same feelings that Christ has for us. Here are some (slightly cheesy) examples.

...When you are playing a video game you get really caught up in the excitment and chaos of it, right? You are so overwhelmed with intensity that your eye might twitch, your shoulders and neck tense up and your heart beats faster. If you are a gamer, you understand. Well do you not think that Christ has this same intensity for us? Do you not think that when we spend time with Him, that His heart beats faster, this His eyes are focused in us to the point of crossing? His feelings are so incredibly intense for us. His love is overwhelming.

...What about when you are playing a sport, baketball for example. You have the ball, you are running down the court... You weave in and out of the defensive players, carefully aim and shoot the ball. You put all this effort in to sinking this ball from the net... and it misses. How do you feel? My intention is not to compare the strategy of basketball to Jesus' love, but to relate to the feeling or emotion of missing a shot. Jesus is constantly running beside us, throwing things in our way to grab our attention. Do you know how often Jesus talks to us, and we miss out on it? That his "ball falls short of the net"? Can you imagine how he longs to make up for that missed love song? He tries over, and over, and over and over. His love never fails. He doesn't give up when we miss out on some sweet word or favor-filled blessing that He throws our way... He keeps trying over and over.

And what about those creative talents that God has given to people? Is that not proof of His love for you?

Who else but God would give you such an artistic eye as to capture a picture with a uniqueness that no one else has?

Who else but God would give you the ability to paint a picture that awes a crowd with it's beauty?

Who else but God gives you the ability to use a piece of wood with strings and raised bumps to play a gorgeous melody?

Who else but God gives you the gift of words, that with a story you can change hearts?

Who else but God lets you clothe people with cloth material, spreading His love everywhere?

Where in the world do you think YOU got YOUR love for people?

And what about your longing to help other people? Where you the first with a servant's heart?

All these gifts, talents and characteristics He gave to you... to show you He loves you.

Black skin, freckles, red hair, almond shaped eyes, short legs, long arms... they are all beautiful to Him, because of His love for you... because He created you, designed you.

Please I beg of you... you have to know and believe that He loves you with an intense passion... Read His love letters, look at the people and creativity around you, and open your eyes and ears to what He is constantly trying to show you. If you do, you will be swept off your feet.

Thoughts for the day....

2010-03-01T08:10:00.000-08:00

1) I love wearing the color mustard-yellow. And clothes that people wouldn't normally put together. No, I don't wear these mis-matched outfits all the time... mainly because I'm lacking on clothes right now... but when I do, I just love it. It builds confidence. Haha. That's funny. The style that most people don't like or prefer, is the one that just lets me "wear joy on my sleeves". =) For example, here is my outfit for today. I'm wearing a mustard three-quarter length sleeved shirt, with a dressy lacy short sleeve open thing, with a mint-colored bird pin, a necklace made of recycled paper by beautiful children in Sudan, and shoes with flowers on them. My friend, Andy, commented this morning and said it makes him think of Woodstock.

2) I don't blog consistantly. It's always a goal of mine, to blog more often, I just struggle with finding the time. And when I do find the time to blog, I could sit and write forever. I have revelations from my times with Jesus, 100 point lists, stories, analogys, recipes and ideas all piled up in my head... that I would love to share with you. So yeah... one more time, I'm making the goal to blog more.

3) I followed the advice of a friend, H.L. Hussmann (who has an awesome blog here), and spent time with Jesus a little bit differently. I went through my whole day with Him. I know He's always interested in my life, and wants me to share it with Him... but do I ever do that? Do I ever take the time to tell him everything I did that day, and all my thoughts and feelings that occured in the past 24 hours? Nope. I sure don't. So I did. And it was just.... really.... fantastic. Yes, I spend time with Jesus. No, I don't tell Him about my day during out talks. And when I did today, it was wonderful. I was conversing with my best friend, and I know He loved it. Not only did it feel great, but He sure did give me some revelation about some things that I never would have thought of had I not talked with Him about it.

4) Boy, am I blessed in friendships. I never have had so many best friends in my life.... it's grand.

5) I can't wait to blog about how Jesus shows us He loves us. I just want to show you how, no matter what you look at, you should see how much He loves you! It's a crazy kind of love!

6) I love all natural peanut butter. It tastes great.

There's the Wish-List, the To-Do List, and the Oh-Why-Don't-I-Have-Time-To-Do-This List and more

2010-02-03T08:30:00.000-08:00

1. The To-Do-List

Remember to get my Christ Ambassadors name-tag to bring to our meeting tonight... I've been "absent" for a year... oops.
Work out at the gym with Bethany.
Try and find one hour that I can sit down and research for my paper... the topic is "How media influences body image in America." Basically it's a paper on literature review.
Try and find the time to eat dinner before Wednesday Word and Worship.
After Wednesday Word and Worship read "The Case for Trent" for my social work class and review for my Com 161 quiz in the morning...
Realize that it will be impossible to go to bed before 10:00 with a horrendous list like this.

2. The Wish-I-Could List

I wish I was a creative photographer with the ability to take unique, and stirring photographs.
I wish I had the time to read all the books that I want to.
I wish I could sing... really well.
I wish I could play the guitar... that I was so good at it that I could just sit in my room playing any and every worship song that I could imagine. And maybe write one of my own.
I wish I had better memory skills... I wish that I could look at a Bible verse and BAM! have it memorized... that I could retain awesome and crucial information about creation and apologetics.
I wish I could accept change more... I wish that when something new in my life happened, it didn't completely throw everything off for me... causing me to re-adjust everything... which is so difficult. I wish I liked change better. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not a complete rebel towards change... but I can't deny the fact that big changes stress me out. It's not a bad thing, it doesn't ruin my life or my day... I just tend to be more stressed, physically and emotionally.
I wish I could captivate an audiance with words... both verbal and written. Several of my friends have amazing blogs, and they are all spectacular writers. Yes, I write well... I'm detailed, yes. I'm creative, yes. I have a love of fairies and elves and gardens, yes. But my writings don't bring revelation to the reader.

3. The Oh-Why-Don't-I-Have-Time-To-Do-This List

I wish that I could bake and cook more... so many times people ask me to cook them something... they will even pay for all the ingrediants! Well, that sounds like heaven to me... but I normally don't have the time.
I wish that I could spend infinate amounts of time with people... I want to have enough time on my hands that I could balance spending more time with people.... with my friends, with people I could pour into, with people that evoke great discussions, with people who make me laugh, and those with stories that make me cry.
Yet, I still wish to be able to spend more time alone... I want to be able to sit in the presence of God... meditating on Him... knowing that He is my own. I want to sit in my room, quietly with a book. I want to sit in a rocking chair, alone, and knit while talking to my Best Friend. I want to lay on my back in a graceful (yes, graceful... it works for me right now) patch of grass and flowers and stare at the sky, playing the cloud-shape game by myself...
I wish I could go to bed earlier. I wish that I didn't have this amazing book that I want to read, no matter the price of not sleeping.
I wish I could read more. I wish that I could read a book a day... I can read a book a day, for I am a speed reader... it's just that I don't have the time to read a book a day.

Love tinted glasses...

2010-02-02T15:27:00.000-08:00

A couple days ago I decided to make a quick trip to Wal-Mart... you know, the store that controls our lives? Well, I needed this to be a very quick trip. I wanted to run in, get my items of groceries, find the fastest checker I knew of, and leave as soon as I possibly could.

As always, I quickly look to see if any of "my checkers" were there. You see, I have a "list" of WalMart employees kept in the back of my head that are the "good" ones and the "bad" ones. Unfortunately, the longest line was at the checkout station of my favorite lady but I happened to see the light next to her flash on. Dashing hopefully to the counter, I set down my groceries thinking that I would get out even quicker than I had first planned. And then... I saw who was behind the checkout stand. She was probably about 5'2'', about 80 years old, and was taking forever. Trying not to be inpatient I stand there quietly, hands folded, waiting for her to start scanning my items. Did she start by picking up my banana's and typing in the code? No, of course not. Instead, she grabs her bag from behind her computer and sets in on the belt to begin using.

First of all, this bag is the clear, tacky plastic kind that I used to have when I was five. It's filled with gum, denture paste, lipstick, a comb, perfume, a pair of glasses and some other slightly random items. I watch as she slowly, and boy do I mean slowly, opens her shiny clear bag to get out her glasses. She then lifts the tube of lipstick out, along with a pocket mirror, and proceeds to apply her bright, ruby red makeup. Instead of finishing and turning to attend to my groceries she then pulls out a well-used kleenex and blots her lips. Thinking at last she is going to turn around and start checking me out, I watch as she instead sprays herself with perfume, get's out a watch and signs into her little computer. By this time I am itching to get this over with. The line that I had decided not to wait in has now been replaced with all new people... and I'm sitting here waiting on a little old lady to finish her "business". In my opinion, at this time, all this primping was completely uneccessary and a complete waste of my time. After a long process of entering in codes and having to take off one item that she scanned twice I get to leave.

It's after I leave the store that I realized how precious that whole scenario was. Did it annoy me? Yes. Should it have annoyed me? No. Why not?... Because Jesus thought she was beautiful.

He loved the time that she took to bring out her purse. He loved her taste in that tacky, clear, zippered, square purse. He loved watching her enjoy primping and applying make-up. He just loved her.

Have you ever heard the term "rose-colored glasses"? People use that phrase to say that you are looking at something as better or more special than it really is. Well, Jesus looks at us through "love-tinted glasses". I know that while I was sitting there, being incredibly impatient, thinking that her bag was stupid, and wondering why in the world she would choose that moment to apply lipstick, He was thinking how much He loves her. He doesn't see the waste of time, the imperfections, the wrinkled skin, the quirky tastes, or need to hurry in everything... He just sees His children. He sees us as His best friends. He looks at us through love-tinted glasses... And that just knocks my socks off.

David Crowder sings a song that has become a recent favorite of mine... I feel it is quite appropriate to place the lyrics in this particular blog.

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,

Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us oh
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us oh,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all
He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

And we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If His grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

That He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

You should watch his music video... click here.

I lay it all before you....

2010-01-19T11:37:00.000-08:00

My palms are sweaty... My fingers are shaking. A rock is rolling around in my stomach, making me aware that something is not normal. My eyes open and I'm staring at a classroom filled students. Every one of these students are staring at me. Some look slightly interested, some eyes are filled with indifference. I realize that I am about to give my first speech to the people seated before me. I'm in COM161 (Introduction to Public Speaking) and I am nervous. I say a quick prayer and start, remembering that my first goal in this speech, according to the rubric, is to gain the audiances attention. The first thing that comes to mind is how awkward it is to carry the visual aids, necessary for this speech, around campus and into all my classes. So that's what I start with.

"Can I just say that carrying this huge, clear plastic tub is really awkward? And that I won't get to take it home until around 9 tonight?"

On to the introduction... my voice is shaking.

"Obviously, I am presenting a speech today. I will be presenting three items, and the container in which I have carried them, to you today. These three items represent my Past, my Present and my Future speech."

I feel like I need a drumroll now....

"My first item is a journal. I am an intense journaler and I spend about an hour a day writing things down in this book. I chose this item because it represents the person that I used to be. If you look in all my journals you will see times where I have been hurt, let, and more. There are stories of pain and of where there have been many broken promises. There are signs that tell, in this book, how dissatisfied I have previously been with me life."

I set the book down. I'm still nervous, but my favorite part is next... so I begin to calm down again.

"This purse here represents my present. As you can see, it says 'Lover of my soul'. Pretend that it says 'Jesus' before that... it used to be on there but fell off last week. Anyways, let me explain. When you love someone, it completely changes your life. I'm sure that many of you here are in relationships right now. So you know what I mean. When you are in love with someone you put a lot of effort into the relationship. You spend time with that person. You go to them for advice. They are constantly influencing you... in every area of life. When you go through life with them, step by step you are together. You are no longer completely independent... you go through each step together. This is how I feel my relationship with Jesus is. He really is the lover of my soul, and He is constantly involved with and directing my life."

Wow. That felt good. My classmates are looking more interested... and I just really love saying that Jesus is the lover of my soul.

"This whisk represents the fact that I want to be a stay-at-home wife/mom. Since I was 12 I have wanted to stay at home... be a house wife and homeschool my kids. I love wearing aprons and cooking and cleaning... and the main reason I think I want to be a stay-at-home-wife/mom is because that is what my mom was. And I loved it."

"Lastly, this huge plastic box really represents what God has done (and is doing) in my life. This is the biggest container that I could find in my house, and I need the biggest container I can find to hold all the good things that God has poured in my life. He is constantly and consistantly blessing me. He blesses me financially, materially, spiritually, emotionally... however you can recieve a blessing, I get it. And I know it's due to the fact that I have made Him my number one priority in life, love Him, and live my life for Him."

And that's it. I gave my very first speech to my public speaking class.
I started out being more nervous then I thought I would be... but then as I began to speak of how Jesus has revolutionized my life... I became more calm and focused.
Thank you, Jesus.
You are amazing.

2010-01-18T19:49:00.000-08:00

Tonight my roommate, Bekah (middle picture), and I were studying in our kitchen when my friend Katie Gagel (lower picture) came over to see our newly decorated living room. She came here at 3:30 and left at 9:30. The three of us sat around our kitchen table, took turns making each other dinner, and talked. We talked about books, movies, journaling, and family. We gave each other back rubs, listened to Misty Edwards, and talked some more. We talked about past experiences, stress, lessons we have learned, and ways in which we have grown in our relationships with God. We told stories, laughed, and said "mmhmm!" many times. We talked about weddings, the possibility of taking a trip to Bethel Church in Redding, CA., and how our jeans fit us.

We literally talked for 5 hours.

It was amazing, relaxing, soothing, calming, enjoyable, joy-filled, loving, and sweet.

What could be better than to spend quality time (my love language) with two people that I really really love. These are two people that I would view as some of my very best friends... and to spend time with them... is like... eating peach cobbler on a picnic blanket in the shade of a willow tree on a warm summers day. Completely wonderful.

God has just really blessed me in my friendships.

Purple People?

2010-01-12T11:37:00.000-08:00

Today was the second day of the new school semester.

And here are things that I have observed about my thoughts (or my classes or whatever) thus far.

1. I am going to absolutely love my SWK 311 - Social Work Practice II - class. I love the teacher, love the assignments, love the class material, and love that 30% of my grade is participation. I'm good at that; therefore, I love it.

2. I realized today (and yesterday) how close I have become to two of my roomies, Bekah Clay-soon-to-be-Lambert and Cassie Teague-soon-to-be-Broker. We have spent an insane amount of time together in the past week... especially over the weekend. Two of the nights Cassie and I just laid in bed talking, so late into the night that we both fell asleep! And Bekah and I have found that, among other things, we both love playing a specific card game called NERTS. I just feel really close to these two people, and I love them fanatically.

3. I am deathly terrified of public speaking. I'm taking an introductory course to public speaking... and I am dreading it. I don't want to stand in front of a class and talk about anything. I can't stand the layout of the room... the chairs form two rows that are in a U-shape. And I don't want to dress up for speeches. Especially since there are so many of them... And it doesn't matter that I have two friends in there (one of them is a best friend, Liz) and that I know the professor, I am still anxious.

4. Yesterday = easy time getting up at 5:30 in the morning. Today = only got up at 6:30 because my phone had fallen between my bed and the wall and I couldn't reach it to turn the alarm off. So I had to get up, move my bed, and lo and behold! I was awake!

5. It's amazing how Jesus is the one to truly satisfy me. Not movies, not people, not food, not anything else but Him. Jesus loves me with an insane passion. I want to love Him that much too!
6. I had forgotten how much I hate using public bathrooms. I am typically able to refrain from using them more than neccessary. However... since I have been drinking about a gallon of water a day for about a month.... it is now neccessary. Which is quite sad.

7. In three of my classes we are having to do all this introductory exercises and it's been refreshing. Each time I have been able to share with everyone where I go to church, what campus ministry I am in, and how I really love Jesus. It's funny how refreshing that felt to be able to say that to the entire class...

8. I am really excited about an assignment I have in my SWK 303: Methods of Research class! Our second paper is an observation paper. We have to sit at some random location (I'm choosing Fidalgo Bay, a local coffee shop) and write a "thickly detailed paper" about what we observe. Can I just say that I'm really good at that? It's creative writing! I love creative writing! So, yes. I'm very excited.

9. I like people. No, I love people. I realized this yesterday as I was working at Sparks out in the front lobby. I acted as receptionist and asked all the confused looking people, "May I help you?" and then answered their questions. I got every question possible... from "I don't know what time my next class starts.. how do I find out?", to "Where is Sparks Hall?" (hopefully you caught the fact that I mentioned I was working in Sparks Hall at the time), and "Is it too late to apply for this semester today?" (yes, classes had started that day). Anyways, as I was talking to all these people, I realized how much I enjoyed it. It's mind-blowing to think that when a grouchy and disgruntled individual comes up to you, that you can put a smile back on their face and make their day just a little bit better.... simply because of the smile that is on your face or the tone of voice in which you talk to them. I want to work the desk more. Also, there wasn't anything that I needed to be doing while sitting at the desk, so I pulled out my Bible to read... and ended up having a really great conversation with a guy who had just started reading his Bible for the first time the previous night.

10. I might possibly like the color purple. I can't believe I'm saying this... I have remained firm and steadfast in my dislike of purple and most shades of pink. (Don't worry, my favorite color still is and always will be orange!) But... there was a girl who was wearing a plum purple pea coat in my class today... and I really liked it.

Off-the-wall Note: Isn't this scrapbook page lovely? It's lovely.

Aaah! Satisfaction.

2010-01-08T10:13:00.000-08:00

You know that feeling of intense satisfaction?
For me, it's when a meal that I have cooked turns out perfectly. It's when Mr. Gatti's already has a BLT pizza out on the buffet when I get there, or when I get to hold a puppy. It's when I bite into a particularly crisp yet juicy apple. It's when I find flowers to put in my hair, or a baby that I'm holding reaches out to touch my face and smiles at me. Those are moments of intense satisfaction.

Satisfaction is defined as, "the contentment one feels when one has fulfilled a desire, need or expectation." Contentment is, "happiness with one's situation in life." So really, intense satisfaction is that this moment is perfect... it's that I am so content with where I am and who I am right now, that I don't believe I could hold another drop of happiness, joy, peace, etc.

At SALT God really filled me with a passion and desperation for Him, and I didn't want to lose that. I wanted to constantly be seeking Him out. I wanted to draw near to Him, to know Him, and to serve Him. So I kept praying that God would give me a reminder for when I came back to Murray... a reminder that wouldn't let me forget or lose that desperation for Him. And boy, did He.

The last night there I was sitting in my chair after the service just resting, thinking on Him, when He told me to give up movies for a year. My heart sank, my toes tingled, I couldn't believe it. ME? give up MOVIES!!?? No way. Heck no. I love movies. I LOVE movies. I own exactly 100 dvds. I spend a LOT of time watching them. I buy movies, I rent movies, I spend my money on movies. I'll walk into Walmart with the mindset of buying a pair of shoes and comeout with 3 movies from the $5 rack instead. This was ridiculous to think of... pfft... me giving up movies. Funny. But I knew, in that same second that my heart sank, that I really did need to give them up. One of my biggest loves, movies needed to be prioritzed. The thing that eats up my spare time was about to be taken away completely.

So what am I going to do with all that extra time? Exactly. Great question. I have a great answer. I'm going to spend all this time that I would normally be watching movies with God. I'm going to spend more time in His Word, I'm going to spend more time on my campus reaching the students, I'm going to spend more time in discipleship... the list goes on and on. I know for a fact, that this will be a tremendous time of growth for me. And boy, am I excited about it! Who doesn't want the chance to grow closer to God? Who doesn't want to get to know the One that loves you the most!? God desires time with me more than any of my friends and family. He wants me to delight in His presence, and find my satisfaction in Him.

Yesterday, whew... yesterday was hard. I have a cold, so I left work at noon to come home and rest. Before January 2nd, I would have walked into my house, thrown my purse and jacket on the kitchen table and popped in a movie. My comfort when I'm sick is to be alone and watch movies. But not yesterday. I kept thinking, "Oh my gosh. I'm NEVER going to be able to do this. NEVER. What should I do? I don't feel good... what can I do that would be as satisfying as watching a movie. *sigh* This is impossible." I was so dissatisfied. And immediately, immediately, I heard Jesus say, "Spend time with me today and I will satisfy you." Wow. WOW. I was blown away.

It's so true though... I was so concerned about not being able to watch a movie, that I didn't focus on the fact that Jesus has the ability to satisfy me more than anyone or anything. No movie, no amount of money, no love shown by other people, nothing will satisfy me. Nothing but the love of Jesus. And so, I spent time with Jesus. And I was, am, completely satisfied.

Psalm 63:5 "My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you."

Matthew 5:6 "Blessed are those who hunger and search for righteousness, for they will be satisfied."

And my favorite,

Psalm 107:9 "For He has satisfied the thirsty soul. And the hungry soul He has filled with what is good.

Meatballs

2010-01-06T13:05:00.000-08:00

Here are some random facts about me.

1. I have worn the same perfume for 3 years. I love it. And as long as it is made, I probably won't change. I love it so much that even on days when I don't feel good, and am at home wearing flannel pajama pants, I wear this perfume. It's Ralph Lauren - Blue.

2. I am deathly terrified of earth worms. It's a phobia. On days where it's been raining, my eyes are glued to the sidewalk, I get this sick nervous feeling in my stomach, I get dizzy, and I breathe really fast. I even have nightmares about them.

3. I drink a gallon of water a day.

4. I love meatball subs. And when I eat one, I open it, eat all the meatballs and black olives (not complete without black olives!)... then close it and eat the bread that is now soggy with sauce and cheese. Mmm!

5. When I was little my cousins and I used to sit at the dining room table when my aunt would leave the room and have contests to see who could eat the most napkins.

6. Even thinking about the movie Dumbo makes me want to curl up in a ball on the floor to cry. I can't bear thinking about the mother having to hold her baby elephant through the bars on the cage she's locked up in. Then she sings to him... I don't think I would ever be able to watch that movie again...

7. You buy the ingrediants, I'll make it. You buy the yarn, I'll knit it. I love cooking and knitting/crocheting a lot.

8. I have never watched StarWars. I know, it's tragic. I don't like oatmeal either. Those two things make me un-American, so they say. My apologies.

9. When I was seven I was cheering for my cousin, Luke, as he impersonated Michael Jordan in the street at his house the ball bounced off the basket rim and landed on my thumb. It broke my finger, and ever since there I can bend my thumb in a very weird-cool-abnormal way.

10. I had two rats when I was little: rat-a-tat and rat-a-toot. They were awesome. And extremely cute.

For "those" people...

2010-01-05T07:25:00.000-08:00

So, for "those" of you who are *cough*technologically-impaired*cough* unable to leave a comment on my blog... here is what you do.
Underneath a post there is a place that will say "2 Comments" or however many comments there are... Click that. Write you comment in the text box. Underneath that box it says, "Comment as:" Scroll down that and choose how to comment as. I would suggest the "Name/Url". Type in your name, so I know who you are, but leave the url box blank. Click "Post Comment". I think that should work!!

Haha! Please know that I didn't mean this is in a bad way, I'm totally picking on two specific people! You should know who you are. ;)
Love you both! Hope you can leave comments... because I like comments. =)

Christ Ambassadors Conference

2010-01-04T16:51:00.000-08:00

S.A.L.T
Stands for Student Something Leadership Training.
It's the regional yearly conference meeting for Christ Ambassadors, the campus ministry that I am involved in. It is held in either Cincinatti or Indianapolis every year over New Years. This year it was located at Indianapolis and was the 30th to the 2nd. This was my third one. And it was better than all the rest.
I can literally say that this SALT has changed my life. Or rather, that God used this conference to change my life. I'm sorry to say that if I were to write out every detail of what happened, or how God spoke to me that my blogging would end, and I would have started writing a book. So, since I am wanting you to know how God touched my life, I will do it in the good ol' fashion of a list.

1. I knew that before this trip God was really trying to show me how much He loves me, and how He wants to romance me.
2. He set that into stone during a session that I took on meditating on God. I was having trouble with meditating on Him, listening without thinking. I got frustrated and thought, "God! Please help me listen to you!" And immediately I saw myself sitting in a room at a black table. Jesus walked in front of me, sat down and said "Do what I do." So I did. We folded our arms on the table, and put our chins down on our arms. Then He said, "Let's just gaze into each others eyes." I don't care how cheese-ball that sounds to anyone! That was the most wonderful, intimate, personal thing that God could have shown me! Just in that, I felt so overwhelmed with love I could hardly contain it.
3. I went to a spiritual warfare class, and the minute that I stepped into that class I felt such a passion for prayer. I want to be a prayer warrior for spiritual warfare. I felt so passionate about it, and just really had a hunger to grow more in this area! I wanted to take the stories that the teacher was telling and take them back to Murray campus. I want to see miracles happen! And I kept thinking, "Boy. I'm going to lose this passion pretty quick if I can't come up with a reminder for myself. A reminder to keep my desire for all that I have learned here."

4. The last night, January 1st, is what really changed my life. There was an alter call given for those who wanted to recieve the Fire of the Holy Spirit. It was for those who were already baptized in the Holy Spirit and who wanted a refreshing. It was to deepen your desperation for Jesus. And who doesn't want that?! I think that every person in that auditorium left their seats. So here I am, standing at the alter worshiping. And I just wanted to see a deeper, higher level of worship in me. So I started praying for it. And boy did it come. Not only that, but two people came up to me to pray with me, and gave me a prophetic word. It's amazing how God can speak through people to you. These two girls had no clue what they were saying, or what their words meant. But I did. And the words they spoke were, again, so personal and intimate. God just expressed so much love for me. I felt so overwhelmed with love for Him, so desperate for Him, and so filled with a longing to be broken by Him... When I say that I wanted to be broken, I wanted God to get rid of me. I wanted him to take every selfish thing out of my life, and build me back up in Him. I wanted Him to fill me with Himself, and that every thought, word, and action would be completely of Him. And He did. And it changed my life.

5. He brought me into a heart of worship.

So, yeah. SALT was amazing, the best yet. A lot came out of it, and I'm excited to see the change that's going to take place in my life.

Christmas Day

2010-01-04T16:21:00.001-08:00

Christmas day was wonderful.

It started with me waking up extremely early, at six thirty, and drinking coffee in the living room by our beautiful Christmas tree. Our Christmas tree this year is probably the best we have ever had. I like really rustic trees. I think that someday I will want to find a place to cut down my own Christmas tree. Our tree this year was close enough. Tall, not very straight, bushy, uneven, with rugged edges it was perfect. And it was here that mom and I sat with our cups of coffee and a biscotti to talk until Dad woke up.

Dad didn’t wake up when I wanted him to, so at seven thirty I ran and jumped on his bed squealing and shouting that Santa had been here and I wanted to open presents. Ha! I’m totally kidding! I don’t believe Santa’s real. I did however run and jump on his bed, begging him to get up.

After Dad got up, Mom made us the traditional Sooter breakfast. Thankfully, someday I will become Julia Childs and live in Paris wearing pearls and an apron… meaning I won’t be making or eating the traditional breakfast of the manly men of the Sooter family. My dad insists that, for Christmas, Easter, and his Birthday, Mama fix oatmeal topped with runny eggs, crisp bacon… and chili – no beans. Mmm. Both my Grandpa and my Dad have always loved this.

Of course, immediately after breakfast we opened presents. My parents are probably the most thoughtful, wonderful, generous parents ever. Literally. I got a beautiful plaid coat, an iTunes card, three beautiful scarves, a pair of shoes, two cardigans (I love me some cardigans), and MOVIES!! I love movies. My two favorites I got are Julie & Julia and Wolverine. Do people ever grow out of it? The excitements of ripping open a beautifully wrapped present? I don’t think so.

After presents Mama and I went to the kitchen to cook. She made molasses cookies, sugar cookies, and got all of the chips and stuff ready. I made spinach and artichoke dip, tomato and bacon tartlets, and set out the rest of the stuff. Since the snacks were ready for the day, Dad and I sat back in our chairs to watch Wolverine. I’m making Jennifer a scarf for her Christmas present, so I worked on that.

The rest of the day was spent in doing nothing… I turned on Sirius Holiday Traditions (Christmas music from the 40’s), we snacked, mom and I worked on a puzzle, I knitted, we watched movies. That’s it. And it was perfect.

On the fourth day before Christmas I put up my tree!

2010-01-04T16:20:00.000-08:00

*inhales deeply* So… *exhales quickly* I have something embarrassing to admit to… *squeezes eyes shut and reassures self, it’ll be ok* IttookusuntilfourdaysbeforeChristmastodecoratemytree.

Unless you didn’t catch that, I think I can say it again. It took us until four days before Christmas to decorate my tree. I can’t believe I am saying that. Me. The girl who should marry a Christmas elf, I love Christmas so much. And by “a Christmas elf” I’m speaking of Santa’s helpers, not Elf. I can’t stand Will Ferrell. Anyways, back on topic. I am the one who listens to Perry Como and Bing Crosby sing Christmas music in June. I am the one who believes that you should start celebrating when Walmart does – four weeks before Halloween. In September. Ok, so I’m kind of kidding, but not really.

I love Christmas.

I LOVE Christmas.

And it still took me *cough* andmymom *cough* until December 21st to decorate my tree. This is because, 1) I couldn’t decorate my house in Murray since we are painting the living room (and all living room furniture is piled in the center of the room) 2) I didn’t come home-home until 19th. But it’s ok. Because when my mom and I finally started decorating we got in this really great, really goofy mood and started taking pictures. I would post some examples, but I can't find the cord that allows me to put my pictures on my camera.

Sorry.

2010-01-04T16:13:00.000-08:00

Dear blog readers.

I am not a good blogger.

All my love,
The Girl Who Doesn’t Blog Often

Yeah, I thought that was funny. Funny and true. Ha!

Anyways, I need to tell you that part of my non-blogedness *clicks “Add to Dictionary” button* is partially due to the fact that, out here in the sticks, our internet speed is the same speed as my fat cat. That is really, really slow. But I could have done better, I know.

So I think what I am going to do is I am going to write all the posts that I should have been writing the past couple of days, and post them separately. Yeah. That sounds good. Not what a real blogger would do, but hey… gimme a break.

Runny Babbit and the Polary Bear

2009-12-01T10:04:00.000-08:00

I love poems by Shel Silverstein.
They are all great, and you can't pick a favorite...
but here are a couple really good ones.

Bear In There by Shel Silverstein

There's a Polar Bear
In our Frigidaire--
He likes it 'cause it's cold in there.
With his seat in the meat
And his face in the fish
And his big hairy paws
In the buttery dish,
He's nibbling the noodles,
He's munching the rice,
He's slurping the soda,
He's licking the ice.
And he lets out a roar
If you open the door.
And it gives me a scare
To know he's in there--
That Polary Bear
In our Fridgitydaire.

Forgotten Language by Shel Silverstein

Once I spoke the language of the flowers,
Once I understood each word the caterpillar said,
Once I smiled in secret at the gossip of the starlings,
And shared a conversation with the housefly in my bed.
Once I heard and answered all the questions of the crickets,
And joined the crying of each falling dying flake of snow,
Once I spoke the language of the flowers. . . .
How did it go?
How did it go?

One of my favorite books is Runny Babbit - A delightful book of poems made up of spoonerisms, where the first parts of words are transposed.

A quick example of this book is,

"Runny be quimble, Runny be nick. Runny cump over the jandlestick."

Silly... but I can't help loving this...

(Ha! That rhymed!)

Romance...

2009-11-30T17:00:00.000-08:00

What is romance?

I looked it up online and the first definition is "a relationship between two lovers".
Kind of disappointing to me.
Why you ask?
Well, I'll tell you why.
I have found that I have been using, or thinking the word "romance" or "romantic" lately... now, now, don't be like my Grandma Bertha and start asking me if I have found my man yet, just listen.

This is "romance" in my opinion...

To me, the idea of Peter Pan is romantic.
The way that petals fall on the ground and their pale colors contrasted by the green grass... is romantic.
The way the ocean is constantly changing colors, and teasing the sand... is romantic.
Mysterious wood-elves who have long flowing hair and wear wildflowers in their hair... are romantic.
I just think that the beautiful things in life, that take my breath away, and make me sigh contentedly... are romantic.

I guess, now that I think of it, the definition I found does suit my feelings... because I just feel completely romanced by God right now.
He is captivated by my attention, and I am by His.
He loves surprising me, and taking my breath away.
He thinks of me day and night.
He constantly wishes to share special moments with me.
We share secret inside-jokes.
I tell Him my deepest fears, my highest dreams, and my thoughts about this day.
He is constantly giving me gifts - seeing five Kingfishers at once, petting a puppy on a special day, planting a flower in my yard, whispering sweet words in my ear while we are walking in the park...
He is so romantic.

My God is incredible.
And I love Him with all my heart.

Read this and tell me that this is the most romantic thing in the world - because it is.
It's beautiful.
Proverbs 30:4, b
"Who holds the wind in his fists? Who wraps up the ocean in his cloak?"
My beautiful, sweet, lovely, caring, romantic Saviour - that's who.

Clumsy and Embarassing Moment # 8,827

2009-11-12T18:12:00.000-08:00

I've never had a guy wink at me before. Until today.
I've never fallen up the stairs. Until today.

I'm walking up the stairs to go to my table on the third floor of the Library.
And this guy is rounding the corner to come down the stairs.
He stops just at the top of the stairs, grins... and winks.
Well, I have never had that happen before. And it shocked me.
So what did I do?
Stare at him with my mouth wide open, gaping in surprise, and stumble. up. the. stairs.
Great. Not only was I feeling really embarassed and awkward from the wink, but now I get to add to my feelings the sheer mortification of almost falling down - going up the stairs.
Sigh...
My life is ~~average~~ awkward.

I Heart Old Men... and Shuffleboard.

2009-11-12T10:01:00.000-08:00

Today I finished up my volunteer hours (ten hours for a social work class) at the Weak Center/Senior Citizen Center. I went expecting to help cook meals, sort paperwork, clean something, etc. Instead, I spent two hours with the dearest old men in the world, watching them play Shuffleboard. It was one of the best "time-well spent" mornings I have had in a while. It was fun to talk to people with so many good memories, watch a game being played that wasn't aggressively competitive, *chucles to self*, and constantly being handed candies while being told I was beautiful.

NOTE: To all girls who need a self-confidence boost, go to the Senior Citizen's Center. You will be fed tons of chocolate and sweets (we always love that), told that you are too pretty to be in the company of these old son-of-a-guns, and asked why you haven't married their grandsons yet.

As I'm sitting there I was suddenly hit with how much I miss my Granmpa Sooter. He died 2 years ago this month, my Freshman year of college. No, I didn't get to see him every day (almost all my family lives in California), and no, I didn't call him every other day... but I still loved my Grampa and was very close to him. And sitting there today made me think of all the good times we had feeding the seagulls or playing Rummy, and just brought back to mind all the little things I have forgotten.

Here's a list of what I observed today... all sweet and most reminded me of Grampa Sooter (I am adding just a few other observations that I found to be sweet or funny.)

their names -- When I think of older gentlemen I think of the names that these old men had: CM, Brice, Bob, Bud, and Skeeter... My grandpa's name was Doc...
wet, chewed-up toothpicks hanging out of the corner of a mouth...
when sitting and crossing their legs, their slacks come up above the top of their socks...
a folded hankerchief seen sticking out of the pocket...
an old man with a long white beard sticking his head out of the billiards room to shout to those playing chair volleyball, "On tv all the chicks wear bikini's! Why dontcha try that! A-hee hee hee!"... he then ducks back through the doorway before all the indignant (and secretly pleased) ladies start yelling at him and calling him, "a perverted, old, buzzard!"...
how Bud (my favorite person there) makes faces behind Skeeter's back because Skeeter just made a good shot while playing Shuffleboard...
Brice telling me about how he went back to college after being out for 29 years... and he "bested all o' them young whippersnappers there" and made the Dean's List...
old-knarled hands that have seen years of hard work...
jokes that really aren't funny but everyone still howls with laughter because of the personality of the individual who told the joke...
the slang used: "let er' rip dip!", "wild as a barn-bird", and "hang onto your teeth!"...
old men who seem rude and crotchety, but as they walk by they stick out their tongue, cross their eyes, and wink at you -- quickly returning to their original seemingly-grouchyness before someone sees and ruins their reputation...
Bud fake jogging back to his seat, where Elsie shouts out, "You are acting like a little boy!!" Bud then shouts back with a gruff tone, "But I AM a little boy! Yippee!" (Can anyone say "perfect candidate for the real Peter Pan"?)...
old faded ballcaps sporting their favorite baseball team...
talk of the good old days... and who turned out exactly like their mother or father...
card playing... Grampa and I played cards every time we were together.
Bob sweetly talking of his "pretty lady" that makes me understand the phrase, "I want to grow old with you"...
spots of dark, black coffee that was dribbled on the fronts of their old long-sleeved polos...
hands covered with band-aids...
CM shuffling his feet and calling it a jig...
the smell of lefterover cigarsmoke and peppermint candies left in pockets to give to visiting children (the word "children" is not determined by age... since I came home with my pockets stuffed with gum and candy...)

Even though I left feeling like I needed to see my Grampa and knowing that I couldn't, today was a great day. Hopefully my classes next year will require more volunteer hours... if not, I might have to make a fake certificate calling myself the "Official Shuffleboard Score Keeper" and go back every once in a while.

She Has a Name...

2009-11-04T06:39:00.000-08:00

     I'm laying in my bed with the covers pulled up to my chin. My eyes are closed and my thoughts have drifted away down a lazy, clear-blue river that flows across a carpt of velvet black fabric and fades into the stars. I'm on the brink of falling completely under Sleep's spell when someone puts their hand on my shoulder. Not wanting to give them the attention they are wanting, I turn over on my side. The hand is taken off, and the person moves into my sight. Her name is Creativity and she has come to wake me up.

     To me, she is thin, willowy, made of silver and shining white thread and gives off a small glow. To others she appears differently. I have heard that Creativity sometimes comes as an elf -- maybe a short little Christmas elf wearing a onesie the color of an evergreen forest, sporting a peppermint jacket and brown leather boots. But to me, she is a lady of mystique.

     Now that I see who it is, I raise myself up on my elbows. "What do you want?", I whisper into the darkness. "I want to show you something" she croones in my ear. By now, since I am nearing the age of 21 and have already recieved many nightly visits by this annoying beauty, I know what is coming. Sighing and showing slight impatience I tell her that, although I appreciate her efforts and the generous gift of crafty ideas, I would rather sleep right now. I did not want to end up like my cousin, who awoke at Creativity's nudge to go make wrapping paper and rewrap ALL the presents under the Christmas tree at two o'clock in the morning. Oh no! I am MUCH too smart to fall for her silky voice... which last time told me to go Google recipes and ideas for ornate Gingerbread Houses at 11:00 P.M (my bedtime is 9:30). Knowing that I have smartly hinted that she should return another day, I roll onto my stomach with the pillow balled up under my chin.

     I then spend the next two hours planning how to make a rag rug. Staring at the wall in front of me I contemplate what colors I am going to use, what size crochet hook would work best, what rug shape would be the easiest or hardest to start off with, how big it should be to fit in my room, and how much longer it would be until the nearest fabric store opened so I could start. All the while, Creativity is stirring quietly in the corner of my room, twirling her hair with a finger, shoulders shaking with silent, joy-filled laughter.

"These Are a Few of My Favorite Things..."

2009-11-03T10:32:00.000-08:00

1. My God
2. His taste in color
3. His provisions and plans for me
4. His unconditional love.
5. People
6. Laffy Taffy Jokes
7. Starry Nights
8. The smell of a new book.
9. Cooking with fresh garlic.
10. Kids -- esp, Isaiah
11. Smiles
12. Blue skies with fluffy white clouds-- so that you can lay on your back and find shapes in them.
13. My pink pig pillow.
14. Flowing white skirts -- to twirl in.
15. Flowers in my hair.
16. Golden Retrievers
17. Christmas
18. Accoustic Guitar Worship.
19. Singing in the woods, alone, singing praises to God.
20. Christmas Trees
21. Writing opinion papers.
22. Being called a hippie.
23. Kittens bundled in baskets.
24. Watching a movie in a heap of down blankets and feathered pillows.
25. Reading a good book, preferably in one day.
26. Burying my feet in the sand, and then wiggling my toes.
27. Feeling protected and secure.
28. Flannel Pajama Pants
29. Making lists for everything... literally.
30. Azaleas
31. Blueberry Pomegranate Applesauce
32. Holding Sleeping Babies.
33. the color orange.
34. cute shoes.
35. bracelets made by, and given to you by friends.
36. making up new recipes... like my parmesian stuffed chicken breast.
37. gardening.
38. sidewalk chalk
39. families who homeschool
40. the look on people's faces when i tell them i have been homeschooled all my life.
41. oregon trail.
42. snow.
43. the idea of a semi-casual, barefooted wedding on the beach.
44. christmas music.
45. guy's cologne
46. scrapbooking accessories with birds on them.
47. brown flipflops with gold sequins
48. picnics
49. deep conversations
50. prom dresses.
51. other people's akward moments.
52. laughter.
53. pranks
54. complements
55. new mechanical pencils.
56. wind
57. the smell of spring
58. taking thirty minutes in walmart to smell all of the laundry detergent and fabric softner
59. painting chocolate
60. long curly hair
61. sitting outside with friends, doing nothing but talkng.
62. coffee mugs
63. disney movies -- but not dumbo or the fox and the hound
64. cheering people on in sports from the sidelines
65. fabric
66. watching movies with the subtitles on
67. my roommates waking me up in the morning by cuddling with me
68. wearing shorts right after i shave my legs
69. climbing trees.
70. robin hood -- he's one foxy fox!
71. teaching people something new
72. playing in the rain in a parking lot
73. spring time flowers -- daffodils, crocus, tulips, etc.
74. french twists (the hair-do, not the pastry)
75. dipping cookies in my coffee
76. the smell of my cocoa-nut deoderant
77. making arrowheads out of the flint i found on the buffalo river banks
78. sunday night church
79. thunderstorms
80. the kind of tired you feel when you get done making a snow man
81. backscratches
82. stickers -- preferably of disney princesses or birds.
83. dark blue or white toe nail polish (meaning only on toes)
84. lunch dates with a friend, one-on-one
85. babysitting
86. professors who write comments on your papers
87. going over my minutes monthly, after telling everyone that i hate talking on the phone
88. anything that smells minty
89. shaggy hair (on guys AND dogs)
90. being included in a secret or surprise
91. the rare and few nights i stay up till 2:00 AM to do something fun
92. catching crawdads and minnows in the creek
93. sitting on the porch at 6 AM, with coffee and my mom, listening to the birds wake up
94. tank tops
95. hearing a different language being spoken
96. collages
97. fresh raspberries, eaten on the beach after a piece of cheese and black olive pizza.
98. surprise parties thrown for me (hasn't happened yet... HINT HINT)
99. diving off the high dive
100. montages of people falling down (America'sFunniestHomeVideos)
101. my Mom
102. Getting a stain out of a white piece of clothing
103. card tricks
104. Calligraphy
105. testamonies
106. Four dollar movies at Walmart
107. christmas lights
108. the tooth fairy
109. finger paint
110. old movies
111. black and white with yellow polka-dots
112. rachel ray magazines
113. music by cory asbury
114. baby ducks
115. going to bed early
116. dancing to music while in my car
117. playing sardines in the curris center
118. popping my neck
119. a harvest moon
120. old, romantic, folk songs... like stuff by aubrey atwater
121. confetti
122. the smell of lemon furniture polish
123. ribbons in french braids
124. rolling down hills
125. making a wish on a dandelion -- if you can blow all the seeds off in one breath, your wish happens
126. playing with flower petals
127. sleeping under the stars

Lists and More Lists!

2009-11-03T10:07:00.000-08:00

So today I was reading a blog written by my Aunt Julie. In this blog she referred to her love for lists...

I also have this love for making lists.
I make lists for everything. Literally. I make my lists on post it notes, in notebooks, in the margins of my textbooks (in pencil, of course), in emails, on newspapers, or on the offering envelopes at church (I know, I know, that's not what they are for.) I write them on everything, and I am constantly making them. If I were paid a penny for every list that I made I would 1.) be a millionaire 2.) be able to pay for my college 3.) probably not go to grad-school and 4.) buy too many cook books and craft supplies. (Ha! Just realized, that's a list!)
So it's a good thing I don't get paid for making lists... :-)

Here are some examples of the lists that I make daily.

1. Grocery Lists - these lists can be quite numerous and extensive. I have a list for recipes that I want to try, a list for recipes I am going to try this week, a list for the ingrediants to those recipes, a list that includes all of my groceries, a list dividing food items and non-food items, a list for each store, etc. When I say I make lists, it gets a little OCD - I go all out!

2. To Do Lists - these are the best. I make lists for homework, lists for goals for the day, lists for recipes to make, crafts to make, pictures to take, places to go, people to spend time with, etc. These lists for each day are all written down in 15 minute incriments of time. And I make two each day: one for today and one for tomorrow (even though the next day (the "tomorrow" list) I will make one all over again).

3. Journal Lists - I love to journal, and 75% of my journal is filled with lists! These lists are different every day... some days I fill the pages of my scrappy, torn and smudged notebook with lists of dreams. Other days it's "my favorite" lists, goals to accomplish, wish lists, things I have been thinking about, things that have changed in my life, etc.

So, as you can see... I love to make lists. I always have, and I always will.

Allergies, Muddin', and Joy.

2009-10-01T21:06:00.000-07:00

Today has been a very strange day.
This morning I woke up and felt awful. My nose was stopped up, dry, and runny all at the same time. My throat was dry and scratchy, and I was so exhausted I could barely move... Work sent me home, and I spent most of the day in bed trying to sleep. I took some allergy and cold medicine that completely knocked me out and made me drool in my one class. Oh boy. Lovely. I think it might just be allergies, but I'm not sure... it could be a cold.

I am really hoping that it's not a cold because tomorrow (which is our Fall Moment, er, I mean "Fall Break"), where there are no classes, I am going home with my friend Danni. I have been super excited about going home with her for weeks now, so I better be able to go. Let me explain why I love going to Danni's house...
(In list format, of course)

1. I love her Mom, Dad, Grandpa, Step-Grandma, Aunt, Uncle, and two little cousins - who ALL just happen to live on the same road. I love family!!!
2. We do nothing but relax - which is either in the form of playing cards, watching movies, sleeping, talking, or playing the wii.
3. We stuff our faces there. Danni's mom, Patti Kaye, goes and buys BAGS and BAAAGS of candy, lays it all out and says "help yourselves." Not only that, but she cooks for us, and Bobert (Robert, Danni's dad) makes us blueberry muffins for breakfast on Sunday morning. THEN they usually take us out to eat after church on Sunday. These rare weekends should be called the Festival of Food. How islamic cultures have Ramadan, this weekend is the opposite. You eat and eat-and-eat-and-eat till nine... then start again in the morning.
4. We do really fun things like fourwheeling and stuff like that.
5. Her house is very peaceful.
6. They have a dog named Derby. He's an adorable Yorkie.
7. There are a ton more things that I love about her house, but I don't have two hours to list it all.

So, as you can tell, I am pretty darn excited about this weekend. Our plan is to play cards, watch "When a Stranger Calls", play paintball, go muddin' on the fourwheelers, and eat. *Squeezes eyes shut, crosses fingers, and repeats over and over "It's allergies, it's allergies it's allergies, not a cold!*

Another reason that this day is really strange is that even though I feel terrible, I had an amazing time with some friends tonight. I first had my discipleship meeting with Hailey, who is a new freshman. In Christ Ambassadors, we have a mentor-type thing where an older girl will meet with a younger girl and mentor her, encourage her, and go through a Bible Study with her. It's great, and I do that with two girls: Hailey and Kerry. Hailey and I just started, and it has been so much fun spending time with her. We have recently found out that we both have a lot in common... We are both from California, both love cheesy stuff, we are both hopeless sappy romantics, have the same facial expressions and exclamation phrases, and both love to make sound effects randomly. Tonight was more of all the above said, and I had a wonderful time!

After meeting with Hailey I picked my friend Kerry up and went to another friends house for dinner. Cindy Cho, an international student from South Korea, has been a very good friend of mine for over two years now. She and another Korean girl, Sora (pronounced Sore-ah, rolling the "r"), made dinner for us. It was a wonderful Korean spaghetti made with onions, shrimp, soysauce, honey, and something else. Yumm-O! It was a great dinner with great conversation!

Finally, I am filled with so much joy right now, that I don't know words to express it. My current facebook status says, "Can't find the words, song, dance, or shout to express the joy, complete satisfaction, and awe she feels towards and in her Maker!", and it's so true. I have really put an effort in my time spent with God lately... really trying to meditate on Him more, and focus on Him throughout the day. He has blessed my socks off in return! I feel like I have never been so joyful in my life, as I feel right now, at 11:00 at night. I feel Him here, I am full of hope, full of contentedness, and just full of joy! It's an amazing feeling to have, and I am so thankful for everything that God is doing in my life right now! I am thankful for His blessings, His revelations, His warmth, His comfort, His seeking me out. Thank you, thank you, Lord.

So, yeah. This was a completely random post, but oh well.
It's 11:00 at night, I'm tired, full of joy, and wanting to play paintball. That's my day, and that's how I feel.

Monday's Lesson of the Day!

2009-09-21T10:40:00.000-07:00

Do NOT go to bed without washing your blue mascara off your face...
Otherwise, when you wake up in the morning you won't almost pee your pants when your really strange sleepy dirt scares you.

It's like Sulley from Monster's Inc. crept into my room in the middle of the night and I ended up using him for a pillow...

My Playlist for Today

2009-09-18T19:59:00.000-07:00

My dear Aunt Julie put her playlist on her Blog, and I thought that would be fun to do too!!

Here are some of my favorite artists and songs… Some might be a little bit silly, and some might make me cry, but here they are!

1. Where I Belong – by Cory Asbury

The chorus says, “I finally found where I belong. I finally found where I belong – in His presence. I finally found where I belong – it’s to be with You.”, and then later says “I am my Beloved’s and He is mine, so come into Your garden and take delight in me.” These lyrics are so beautiful! I know it’s cheesy, but it “strikes the chords in my heart.”

2. Love is Little, Love is Low – it’s on old Shaker’s Hymn, and my favorite version is played by Aubrey Atwater on her Mountain Dulcimer.

3. Lost at Sea – by Jimmy Needham

This has been a favorite of mine since it first came out in 2006 (I believe that’s when it came out… I could be wrong . Really, anything that he sings I love.

4. Mystery – by Brooke Frasier

If you have ever heard of Hillsong, Brooke Frasier is a singer for them. But she also has her own Albums, that are more “secular”… but not at the same time.  I think that I will post a blog soon about the lyrics to this song soon… I really really really like this song.

5. Deathbed – by Reliant K

Ok, first of all. I don’t really like Reliant K. I used to love them, I have all of their CD’s, and sometimes when I feel goofy I’ll listen to them. But this song, as awful as it sounds, makes me cry. I want to post the lyrics on here, so I’ll include this in the blog with the song “Mystery.”

6. My Soul Longs for You – by Misty Edwards

“I believe You will come like the rain.”
*contented, delightful sigh*
Isn’t that beautiful!?

7. I Wish I Were a Punk Rocker With Flowers In My Hair – by Sandi Thom

I really don’t know anything about Sandi Thom, or even if her music is clean or worth listening to… but a friend burned this song for me… and I love it. I love it because of these reasons: 1.) It doesn’t matter what it is, if it has anything to do with flowers in your hair I love it. 2.) It’s a hippy song, and I like hippiness (minus the drugs and no bathing stuff) 3.) I love her voice.

8. Glen Miller. Anything by Glen Miller. I love the Big Band/Swing songs. <3

9. The Mama Mia soundtrack!

I love musicals, so under #9 I include all of the good stuff: Singing in the Rain, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, Hairspray, Enchanted, basically anything that is a musical.
I desperately want to see Wicked.

10. Clair de Lune – by Debussy

I love instrumental music, and this by far is my favorite…

I have sat at work and done some mundane task and listened to this at least four times in a row.

Cindy Cho

2009-09-17T09:19:00.000-07:00

     Right now I am taking a class called International Social Work, taught by Dr. Chakradhar, a professor from India. The class only has two exams, one midterm and one final, so there are many papers that are assigned in the class. One that I have been working on is a paper written over an interview I had with an international student. The assignment was to learn about an international student’s culture as well as the politics and social welfare of their country.

     For two years I have been fairly good friends with a 20 year old girl from Korea. Her name is Jeongwha Cho, but she goes by the American name of Cindy. When I asked her if she would be willing to let me interview her, she gladly complied. We spent about an hour and a half discussing all sorts of things, most of which were new to me. We talked about how Koreans will eat rice at every meal, and how they use flat steel chopsticks and a spoon. She told me how the most popular thing for her friends to do is going to a local café where there are Playstations and Wiis set up for the boys to play while the girls sit and chat. She told me her family’s tradition of eating Seaweed Soup on every birthday, since the soup is given to pregnant or breastfeeding mothers drinking it on a birthday is symbolically honoring the mother. At the end of an hour and a half we came to the last question, what are some key adjustments that you have had to make since coming to America.

     It started out with the typical list: food, public transportation, and that cars actually stop when you cross the street. After talking about all of these “key adjustments” Cindy stopped talking. She got very emotional and started to tell me of her most difficult adjustment… discrimination. She said that in the ESL department, you do not experience any discrimination. This is due to the fact that all of your classmates are from other countries, and your teachers are trained to work with foreign students who normally can’t speak English. It’s when you become a University student that the change occurs. Jeonghwa Cho sees discrimination from everyone, both faculty and students. She explains that the first two or three weeks of classes are the most stressful and depressing weeks for her. If she goes into a classroom and sits by an American, 90% of the time that American will get up and change seats. Cindy said that if she is assigned to a group for a class project, that the group she is in will be treated as if it is handicapped, and will not be required to perform at the same level as the rest of the class. Even individual assignments given by the professor do not come with the same expectation as the rest of her classmates.

     Her hardest problem is that people assume that she can’t speak or understand English. “Savannah,” Cindy said, “they think that I cannot speak English. Or understand it. But how can they think that? If I could not understand English I would not be a University student, and taking their classes with them.” She cried as she said that students sitting in the row in front of her are always talking about her, as if she couldn’t hear them. Jokes are made, insults are thrown, and no one ever cares or shows compassion. Teachers see it and don’t reprimand the insulter. Discrimination is also shown through the tone of voice that people use when talking to her. “I am not a baby, so don’t talk to me like I am little,” Cindy repeats over and over. It’s fine when someone makes an effort to talk slower, and to pronounce the words slowly and correctly, minimizing a difficult-to-interpret country accent… but when they change the tone of their voice it hurts.

     I was completely shocked at how much discrimination is shown towards international students. Maybe that is in part due to the fact that I am in Christ Ambassadors (filled with wonderful, compassionate people) and we have an amazing International Ministry, so I am blind to how others treat foreign exchange students. Maybe it’s because several of my close friends are ESL students, and I feel that I am constantly aware of my tone and speech and attitude towards foreign exchange students that I meet. But as I listened to Cindy talk, I was ashamed. I was ashamed of my blindness. I was ashamed of the people around me, and to be honest, even in my country. We call ourselves the “melting pot” of the world… yet how are we to blend together if we hate each other, and openly show that disdain? Think of how of much God loves that 20 year old girl who is shunned in class. Think of how much pain Jesus feels when someone openly makes a joke about the girl sitting in front of them. It pains me so much to think that there are so many students on my campus who feel this way. The interview opened my eyes completely. It strengthened my determination to be kind and show as much compassion as I can to Internationals I meet. And to tell them about the love of my beautiful Savior, where there is never discrimination, prejudice, mock, or hatred.

" Steps to Make a Perfect Fool Out of Yourself at College"

2009-09-11T18:32:00.000-07:00

I feel the need to give you dear readers a step-by-step guideline to show you how to make a "perfect and complete fool of yourself."
Whether or not this is from my own experience *coughtodaycough*, I will leave that up to you.

1. Begin the day by wearing flip flops. Preferably ones that have no tread on the bottom. If you have a pair of Old Navy flip flops that have been your best friend for at least two years, that would be perfect!
2. Meeting a professor in a hallway somewhere on campus, you should walk with him/her to his/her office. It would be best if you are wanting to make a good impression on the professor you so happen to be walking with.
3. Wearing your no-tread flipflops, and walking to an important meeting with an important professor, look for a small, pool of water in the middle of the hallway.
4. Allow your foot to land straight in the middle of the pool of water, and fall. Yes, that's right. Fall. Fall flat on your butt, in the middle of the hallway. Your 4' 6'' professor will then try to help you up. Assuming that you are 200+ pounds (like I am) make the situation as awkward as possible.
5. I forgot to mention that you should have had your keys in your back pocket as well. That way when your teensy-weensy professor is trying to haul you up off your back, you can be immobile due to agony since something just hacked open your cheek. Or at least it felt that way.
6. To top everything off, the teensy-weensy-needs-to-be-impressed professor should then go and get the Chair of the entire Health and Human Services College (that would the Social Work Department, as well as Criminal Justice and Gerontology Departments) to come and clean up the small pool of water.
7. The pool of water, which should be no more then a couple drops of water, should be made up to be a GINORMOUS deal. The student worker in the Social Work department should be called to "mop" up the water, and the janitor should then be called to fix the drip from the sprinkler.
8. To complete making a fool of yourself, please make sure that everyone in the office that you just walked into, along with the three people who were trying to help you, knows all about you falling flat on your back.

There. My job is done.

What a perfect day

2009-09-11T15:23:00.000-07:00

I close my eyes and inhale deeply. The breeze outside, where I have been reading and eating lunch, rustles the pages in my new Ted Dekker book. The freshly cut grass, damp cool earth, and the musty-new-book smells fill my nose. Going to the garden, I pick several of Chrissy's wildflowers. I choose two dark burgundy cosmos, and bright pink daisys, several orange summer flowers, and a bunch of white flowers that have so many small bright-white faces clustered together that I would never be able to count them. Taking my bouquet, I walk to the house amidst a whistling chorus of birds.

Walking in the front door I decide to leave the door open, so that the breeze can tempt the hot stuffy air inside the house to come out and play. Going to the windows in the kitchen and living room, I open them and watch as the curtains settle back down, with the occasional dance with the breeze. It is now the perfect time to clean. I spend an hour, tidying up, vacuuming, sweeping, moping, and dusting. Standing in the middle of the living room I once again take a deep breath. The smells from the cool day outside and the smells of furniture polish and soap suds combine to make a pleasant, perfectly clean perfume. Beside the laundry detergent aisle at the store, this is the best smell in the world, I think to myself.

Going to my room I put on my happy yellow apron and bring out my laptop. In the freshly scrubbed kitchen arrayed with perky and colorful flowers, I sit with my laptop and create a playlist -- filled with Glen Miller, Doris Day, Frank Sinatra, Rose Mary Clooney, and Dean Martin. Next I bring out my family recipe book and pick several things to make for dinner. Barefoot, apron clad, and swaying to the music I spend the rest of the afternoon cooking and baking. Occasionally I wipe bits of flour off of my face, unknowingly putting on more than I had attempted to remove. Time flies by until, all of a sudden, I am done and I am surrounded by dishes and the succulent aromas of baked chicken, cheese tortellini’s with a pumpkin sage sauce, and white chocolate raspberry cheesecake.

Faraway, a voice calls my name and I look up to see Dr. Munke calling roll for Social Work 301. Realization hits me as I remember that instead of a perfect day spent at home cooking and cleaning, I have two more classes and three hours of work; followed by meetings and appointments.

So much for my perfect day.